


Turn Of The Earth

by Sarah531



Series: Turn of the Earth series [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-15
Updated: 2005-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-21 06:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3681732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah531/pseuds/Sarah531
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Mickey Smith, Jackie Tyler, Shareen Costello and those left behind, as told mostly through the eyes of Trisha Delaney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not The End Of The World

**Author's Note:**

> This was a series I wrote during 2005-2007, when I was 17-19. Ten years later, I decided to post it here, since - warts and all - it was hugely important to me back then.
> 
> Turn of the Earth follows the adventures of Trisha Delaney, the 'nice' '...big...' new girlfriend of Mickey's mentioned in the RTD-written episode Boomtown. I don't imagine for one second that this mysterious Big Girl meant more to Russell T Davies than a throwaway name and description -
> 
> \- but once she was mine, she meant the world to me.

_One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.  
                                                                                                                 -Anon_

  
  
Having your girlfriend dump you is a regrettable thing, but most people get over it eventually. They put it behind them and try and find someone else. Having your girlfriend dump you for an alien, on the other hand, can spectacularly mess you up.  
  
At the moment that was how Mickey Smith was feeling: spectacularly messed up. He had no idea what time he'd got back to his house last night- narrowly escaping certain death tended to screw with your memories, and he even had to keep reminding himself that it had actually happened. He hadn't bothered phoning Jackie to tell her where Rose had gone; he mostly assumed she already knew. (Of course, when he returned home he would find that Jackie had phoned him, and that she had been in a terrible panic, and after that things would really start to go downhill)  
  
He left the house as early as he possibly could, and started walking aimlessly down the street. It took Mickey some time to realise he was heading for the park, and even more time to realise that he was going there purely so he could mope in private.  
  
When he reached the park, however, there was someone already there. It was a boy, probably not even into his teens, sitting on one of the swings and staring miserably into the distance. Mickey thought about turning around and going somewhere else -he didn't want company and clearly neither did this kid- but he couldn't really think of anywhere else to go.  
  
So he walked right past the kid on the swings, and sat down on the rusty old roundabout. He pushed his feet against the ground and it creaked a little. The kid didn't look up. Mickey wondered vaguely why he was there, anyway.  
  
About a minute slipped by, during which Mickey thought a bit about his girlfriend. Or former girlfriend. He wondered if he'd even thought about the fact that she most likely wouldn't be his girlfriend forever, and he most likely wouldn't be her boyfriend forever. Something might have happened, something that would split them up- but it never felt like it. It felt like they'd be boyfriend and girlfriend forever. They'd been practically caught in a time bubble, now he thought about it. Every day was exactly like the last. She'd gotten bored of him, was all.  
  
All the same, it just wasn't _fair_. One very important thing had been completely lost in the shuffle: he'd nearly died...  
  
There was suddenly a loud sniffing noise from the swings. It was the kid. He was crying. A bit.  
  
Mickey ignored him best he could. Maybe he'd missed a sign stuck on the gate: Meeting Place For Miserable Persons. Maybe this was where they all ended up.  
  
Back to Rose again. He had met her....hmmm...just over two years ago at a disco-ish thing. He couldn't remember much about the disco itself, it had been some charity party, and not very interesting. He had been dragged there by his next door neighbour, a bloke called Steve, who had wanted to impress some girl or other who worked at the building the disco was being held at. Mickey had been bored out of his mind- no good music or anything- and so had gotten drunk, as bored teenage boys were wont to do. He had then spotted Rose out of the corner of his eye- he thought she was pretty, and she wasn't dancing with anyone, so he thought might as well give it a try. He decided he'd wait and finish his drink first, but then he got what he thought was a tremendous stroke of luck- that godawful _Mickey_ song came on. (He'd rather liked that song at first, but now it annoyed him.) So he'd put down the drink, walked right over to her, and said with a beaming smile. "Hi, I'm the guy in the song. Wanna dance?"  
  
How on earth had they gotten a relationship out of that? One of life's mysteries...  
  
And in other news...the kid on the swings was still crying his eyes out. Except now he was doing it loudly. It was the sort of crying you didn't generally see in public, and Mickey was more fascinated than anything else.  
  
But eventually, and even though all things considered he didn't really want to, he went to the swings and sat down next to him.  
  
"Hello." he said pointlessly.  
  
The kid kept crying, then took a tissue from his pocket and wiped his nose with it, then looked up. "Who are you?" he asked, in a not especially friendly tone.  
  
"I just wondered what was up with you," Mickey said, far more brightly than he'd intended.  
  
"My dad is dead," the boy said flatly.  
  
"Oh."  
  
It was at that point that Mickey began to feel faintly ridiculous, and wanted to go home.  
  
"Aren't you going to say sorry, or anything?" the kid demanded. "Most people have, so far."  
  
"Sorry," Mickey said, although he had no idea if he meant it or not.  
  
The boy said nothing. He had his tissue in his hand, and now he was playing with it, ripping pieces off it and flicking them away.  
  
"So what are _you_ miserable about?" he finally said. (This was probably a good thing, as Mickey had been about to say "That's littering, y'know," and he didn't think it would have gone down too well.)  
  
"My girlfriend left me," he said.  
  
"Well, so? People do that," And then he added accusingly. "I mean, it's not the end of the world, is it?"  
  
"Errr..."  
  
Honestly, he didn't expect grieving people to act like this. Not so _angry_. Then again, it was a perfectly natural response, now he thought about it.  
  
There was almost a minute of complete silence, in which Mickey fully expected the kid to get up and leave.  
  
"How did your dad die, then?" he finally ventured.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
"Dunno about that."  
  
"Well, I don't want to bloody believe it, and neither does my mum, so..."  
  
And more silence passed. In that relatively short space of time a police siren wailed in a distance, the wind made the roundabout creak, a bunch of shouting teenagers appeared on the other side of the park, and Mickey suddenly realised that _Rose had run off with an alien_ , for God's sake. Who knew where she was or what she was doing now? He didn't, and maybe Jackie didn't either. Oh _Christ_.  
  
Before he could get up off the swing and race out of the park, the kid suddenly stood up. "My mum..." he muttered, "she'll be really, really worried if she gets back and I'm not there..."  
  
"Don't you have a mobile?" Mickey asked, despite knowing it wasn't the best thing to say.  
  
"No. It was stolen at school," the kid said, and then he started walking. He didn't even give a backwards glance. Mickey saw him disappear through the gates.  
  
It occurred to him that Something Had Happened. That, of course, being the fact that he'd just been talking to a kid mourning for his father, and he had been of no help whatsoever. He could have said any number of things, but he hadn't. And they wouldn't have sounded right, because he couldn't imagine himself saying them. And...  
  
... _oh, bloody hell._  
  
Rose had abandoned him, something horrible had happened last night, and now people seemed to be dying and buildings were blowing up all over the place.  
  
He got up, left the park, and spotted the kid at the end of the road. He followed him, and managed to do it right...the kid didn't turn and see him, but that might have been because he was staring at the ground. Mickey took note of what house the kid disappeared into, and then...went home, fully aware he hadn't exactly achieved very much.  
  
On the way home he weighed things up. Rose had gone off with some alien who he didn't know. Right. He'd got that one now. Something absolutely horrible had happened last night and it had almost definitely ended in a few deaths. Right.  
  
_It's not the end of the world._  
  
He felt really miserable all a sudden, like someone who'd just woken up on his ninty-ninth birthday and realised there was a lot of the world he knew nothing of and now it was almost too late. Or something.  
  
On the other hand, one day he could walk past that house, knock on the door, ask the person who answered if that kid was alright...  
  
He could.  
  
_It's not the end of the world._  
  
Bloody felt like it, though. Okay, so Rose wasn't dead, as far as he knew, and his parents and other assorted family members weren't dead either, but still...  
  
It was Rose, his girlfriend, he was in love with her, she'd just gone without even a thought for him...pretty much...  
  
He had no idea why it happened, or how, but he found himself walking back towards the kid's house, and knocking on the door. A woman answered the door- her eyes were red, she'd been crying a _lot_ \- and she let him in. He went into the living room. The boy stayed huddled on the sofa, barely looking at him.  
  
"Maybe you should look at the website," he finally said.  
  
And after that, Mickey knew he was caught up in something considerably bigger than him, and he knew he wasn't going to get out of it in a hurry.  
  
And after that, just to top it all off, it _was_ the end of the world.


	2. So Are You

They'd fixed things up a great deal, since she'd been here last. The corridors were still very white, that was unavoidable, but at least there were more windows now, and at least they were washed. The food in the cafeteria was considerably better, as well.   
  
_Mrs Tyler, we must ask you not to mention...your daughter. It would be a bit of a shock, and to be honest, that's the last thing any of us want. You understand that, right?  
  
Of course I do, the woman is my mother. _  
  
She shouldn't have kept putting this off. She should have _known_ that it would just be all the harder.   
  
Corridor one.   
  
Corridor two.   
  
Corridor three. Then up the stairs. Then to the nearest door. This was Alison Darkwood's room- it had been for almost five months.   
  
Jackie ran through her cover story again in her mind. Rose was in France, on an exchange trip, and would be gone for a long while. She was not lying shot and murdered in a ditch somewhere. Mickey, who Alison actually rather liked for some reason, was not the main suspect, and he did definitely not seem to be going utterly mad-   
  
_Jackie, look! It's a picture of Charles Dickens, and that's_ them _in the background. Rose and the Doctor. He can time travel. It's not a fake, I swear! Come and look at the website- just come and look! It has all the answers, or all the ones we've got so far!_  
  
-and everything was _fine_ , just fine.   
  
She opened the door.   
  
Her mother was sitting up in bed, reading a magazine. She was all black and white- white hair, white dressing gown, very black eyes. She looked no different, really, from the last time Jackie had seen her- which was a shamefully long time ago.   
  
"Hi, Mum. It's me."   
  
Alison Darkwood gave her a look of utter displeasure. That was, however, all she did. Jackie pulled a chair over and sat down next to her bed.   
  
"How are you doing, then, Mum?"   
  
"Where's Rose?"   
  
Jackie's heart plummeted. Carefully, she lied. "She's in France, Mum. On an exchange trip."   
  
Alison stared at her with those unblinking black eyes which Jackie had not inherited. "In France."   
  
"That's right, Mum."   
  
"I went to France once." Jackie breathed a sigh of relief. "With Stevie. Saw the Eiffel Tower. Then he ran off with that waitress. I expect he took her to France, too."   
  
The Waitress, whose actual name Jackie could never remember, had come up in every conversation they had had for years and years and years. Jackie could only nod.   
  
"I expect he took her to the Eiffel Tower...I expect he took her everywhere...no, wrong way round, she was the one with all the money. It was such a tragedy." Her old mouth couldn't form the word _tragedy_ quite right. Jackie didn't say a word. She was afraid she might start crying and give the game away. Imagine if Alison died from the shock. That would be too much.   
  
Alison tried to turn the pages of her magazine, failed and dropped it on the floor. Jackie picked it up again and wished she had something to say. But in truth there was only one thing to say, and she couldn't say it.   
  
_Jackie, you've got to listen! She went off with a alien! I know it sounds mad, but there it is. She could be anywhere, anywhere in the universe..._  
  
"I brought you some things to eat. A carrot cake," she finally managed to say. She plucked it from her bag- it was wrapped in cling film and a little bit squashed. She put it carefully on top of a chest of drawers. "And some fruit. Bananas..."   
  
"You know I hate bananas." Now she sounded like the mother Jackie had known...   
  
...the one who had told her she'd be out of the house in an instant if she ever got pregnant, who wouldn't let her work in the shop which sold _immoral_ clothes and books, who hated her runaway husband and his lover, who hated a great deal of things, probably- until a year or so ago, when Jackie (and everyone else) had realised Alison Darkwood wasn't immortal.   
  
Alison had been so _cross_ when Pete had died. _You grew up without a father and so will she. What will become of this family now? Will she lose her own husband now? I expect she will. It's become a fault in the family lineage. Children shouldn't grow up without fathers- I know the sort of devils they become. Running around the place destroying everything they can lay their hands on, no decent job, no A levels. Oh, for pity's sake, of course it's not your fault, dear. You know I didn't mean it like that. Go ahead and cry- your mascara's running, though._  
  
Jackie felt a bizarre feeling of hate, not just towards her mother but towards the world in general, and it worried her. Although, at the same time, she was almost glad of it. She hadn't felt real hatred for ages, and of course she shouldn't hope to, but...   
  
"Are you still seeing that nice Pete Tyler?" Alison asked, and Jackie's heart almost broke. _You know she's in failing health, you know she geniunely can't remember, she didn't do that to spite you-_  
  
"He's dead."   
  
"Oh yes..." Alison said vaguely. "That car."   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Such a pity..."   
  
_Such a pity_. Her husband was dead. Her daughter could very well be. She was the last remaining member of the Tyler family, and oh it hurt so much. _Such a pity_. She could have tried harder. Looked after her daughter better. Been more attentive to the here and now- she herself just wasn't a child anymore, but oh she acted like one, and she knew it. _Something_.   
  
"Jacqueline," Alison said. (Why on earth she used that name Jackie had no idea, she hadn't _ever_ been called Jacqueline. Never in her life. Sometimes she thought Jacqueline was a different person entirely: namely the daughter that Alison had wanted and had never got.) "Jacqueline, there's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"   
  
"No, Mum."   
  
"There is. I can see it in your eyes."   
  
Jackie stayed quiet, and wished she'd never come here.   
  
"It's Rose, isn't it? She's done something silly again."   
  
"No, she hasn't..."   
  
And then the room went oddly cold. Jackie's first thought was that the air conditioning must have come on. Then Alison's black eyes looked at her, and they were cold as well.   
  
_Oh my god, there are starting to be more things on earth than there should, and things have been very wrong, and they're going to be worse..._  
  
That made no sense even to her. Alison suddenly reached out and grabbed her hand. She held it hard.   
  
"She's run away with the big bad wolf."   
  
In Jackie's mind the lights flickered and turned off, a warning of some kind. The room faded until it was _only_ black and white, and she didn't think she'd be able to talk.   
  
"What?"   
  
" _She's run away with the big bad wolf, he wants to keep her now, you'll be lucky to see her again, you should have told your mother-_ "   
  
Jackie wrenched her hand away.   
  
"He blew the house down and blew the house up, he stole her away, he's been cruel, he's been vicious and selfish, he's been a killer, he pointed a gun at her, he's walking about all alone, you know him, you do, he was there when Pete died, Jackie, he was there-"   
  
The sane thing to do would have been to run to the door, told someone Alison was having a fit, to do something about it, to let her go home. To let her go home and lie on the sofa and cry or something.   
  
"I am alone," Alison said darkly (except this couldn't actually be Alison) and an impossible voice answered:   
  
_SO ARE YOU.  
  
So is who?_ Jackie thought in a detached sort of way. Alison's eyes were as black as crow's wings.   
  
"He's dragged her into his fairytale, Jackie, things are about to get dark."   
  
Her hand was grabbed again, and it was going to be _crushed_. And all she felt like doing was laughing hysterically- her daughter was missing, her daughter's boyfriend was crazy, and now her mother seemed the same way. Her next.   
  
Then the lights went back on (not that they'd ever actually been off) and reality descended. Her hand was not crushed.   
  
_Don't you know what usually happens to The Mother in fairytales?  
  
Actually, I don't. _  
  
"I went to France once," Alison said dreamily.   
  
"What?"   
  
"I was just telling you, Jacqueline. Before my husband ran off with that waitress. Went to France. Paris. City of love. Had a fantastic time, but it's ruined now."   
  
All Jackie could hear was her own breathing. She clutched her mobile phone in her pocket, and didn't let go. (Maybe it'd suddenly beep, and Rose would have sent a message. Not likely.)   
  
"You weren't listening, were you? That waitress, and him- love at first sight. You remember his explanation- _she could give him more_. And he had us. Went back to France. Selfish git, and now Pete's dead and all."   
  
A long shuddering sigh came from one of them, probably Jackie, but she wasn't sure.   
  
_Dad's gone, Rose's gone, Mum's here, Pete's dead, oh god this isn't fair._  
  
"Perhaps you'd better go," Alison said, in a now slightly childish voice. "Just not to France."   
  
"No, okay, Mum. Not to France."   
  
"Thank you for the cake."   
  
*  
  
Jackie sat down on a bench outside. There was a stand nearby selling chips, but she didn't have enough money. Her mother was slipping over the edge and her husband and daughter were gone.   
  
_I am alone, so are you._  
  
She was hungry. Time to go home.   
  
_Your family is gone or going, there's things on earth that shouldn't be..._  
  
Someone raced up to her and sat down. It was Mickey.   
  
"Jackie, we've got to talk."   
  
"No, we haven't," she said, and stood up. "Ain't they arrested you yet, Mickey? Arrested you properly? _Got the truth out of you_?"   
  
"Listen-"   
  
She very nearly hit him and didn't. He pretended not to notice, somehow.   
  
"I didn't murder her. I loved her. I'm trying to help..."   
  
" _Get away from me_!"   
  
She ran away from him, literally ran, (she hated running in general, although she knew she needed to keep fit) ran away from him and ran away from Alison The Mother, and when she got back to the flat she absolutely freaked out.   
  
_Why me why me why me..._  
  
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?   
  
She eventually sat up, wiped her eyes and decided to just plain forget. She dreamed about dragonlike demons that night.


	3. It'll Be Alright

For the past year, Trisha Delaney had noticed the signs. They were stuck to lampposts and post boxes and everything in sight. On them was a picture of a smiling blonde girl. Trisha had known the smiling blonde girl, a little: her name was Rose Tyler.   
  
Gossip traveled fast around the estate. Most people assumed that Mickey, Rose's boyfriend, had murdered her. Very few people seemed to bring up what Trisha had thought the most obvious option: she'd been shot by...what had the papers said it was? Some sort of terrorist thing? She hadn't been there, and there seemed to be no way of getting any information- but it had probably, almost certainly, been that. Except no-one had found her body. They'd found the other bodies.   
  
On the Christmas Day that Rose had missed, Trisha's mother had been in a funny mood. "You should go to Jackie Tyler's place," she said. "You should bring her some of our cake...tell her it'll be alright..."   
  
"It _won't_ be alright for her," Trisha said, very quietly.   
  
"None of that. She's probably sittin' up there all on her own. Can you imagine it? You should go."   
  
Trisha didn't like meeting people. Especially if they _were_ likely to be on their own and crying. "I don't know her. And she probably doesn't like me."   
  
"Shut up and go, Trisha."   
  
But she refused politely over and over again, and in the end nobody went.   
  
*  
  
On the day the aliens invaded, Trisha's mum dragged her and her brother to a welcome-aliens party down the road. It was being thrown by some woman at the hairdressers, and everyone got very drunk indeed.   
  
Some bloke leered at Trisha.   
  
"You've got a pretty face," he said, "but _fuckin'ell_ you're fat."   
  
Trisha had stormed out. Her brother had taken over the host's son's Playstation, and her mother was watching the television. Neither of them noticed. She hung around in the stairway for a bit. Eventually her mother came to find her.   
  
"Something _else_ just happened!" she said excitedly. "Rose Tyler- they found her!" At Trisha's questioning look she added, "Not her body. They found _her_! She'd run off with some forty-year old! Or so they're saying..." She took Trisha's hand to lead her back to the party. "Do you want to go and see her?"   
  
"I don't really know her, Mum." Besides, if she'd just got back...and found _aliens_...or she'd come back _because_ of the aliens...she was probably rather preoccupied. Besides, Jackie...Jackie would be furious with Rose. Everyone in the area knew Jackie, if only by reputation. Trisha wondered what sort of carnage would be left once she'd finished with the forty-year-old.   
  
"Suit yourself," her mother said. "Come and watch the TV. History in the making."   
  
And since it was, she couldn't argue, and so she watched it all breathlessly, half-wishing she was actually there.   
  
*  
  
Since she didn't get to bed till about three a.m., her mother woke her up next morning, banging on her door like the house was burning down.   
  
"Trish! Come and see this!"   
  
Trisha opened the door tiredly.   
  
"On the television!"   
  
Trisha came downstairs and looked at the television. Then she sat down and watched it. All of them did.   
  
"Jesus Christ, we've missed a lot," her mother said. "I knew I shouldn't'ave drunk so much-"   
  
Trisha turned to her mother.   
  
"Er. Maybe we should get out of London. Don't you think, well, _listen_ \- we might be in danger here."   
  
Her mother looked at her as if she'd gone mad. "Don't be daft," she said. "I know what they say, ain't I heard it a dozen times from you, but I 'ave to disagree- politicians ain't that bad. Not like they say. They'll figure something out."   
  
"Mum," Trisha said, in the voice she had to sometimes use for her mother although she hated it, "These are aliens, and apparently they have weapons. And they're in London, and so are we."   
  
"There's no point," her mother said. "If everyone thinks like that, the streets'll be packed with traffic and we won't get nowhere. Go and wake your brother up. And don't scare him."   
  
So Trisha could really do nothing.   
  
*  
  
So they saw it all- despite the fact it was on a screen that they saw it. And then the paper was delivered with _ALIEN HOAX_ plastered across the front page and Trisha looked out of the window and thought it was very cold.   
  
"I'm going to go out for a bit," she said.   
  
Her mother was reading the paper. "Makes more sense, don't it?" she said. "If it wasn't real...if it was people trying to scare us. Terrorists, they say."   
  
Trisha hurried out.   
  
She went for a long walk. She was careful to keep to the well-lit areas- it got dark rather quickly. Before long, shadows started to freak her out, and she suddenly realized, _OH MY GOD ALIENS LANDED ON EARTH AND THE GOVERNMENT ARE TRYING TO TELL US OTHERWISE AND OH. MY. GOD._  
  
She supposed that was quite a good response to the whole thing, and just stood there motionless for a while. Then she decided to go back to the flat, and took the quickest way-   
  
-and found Mickey, who some people apparently had thought to be capable of cold-blooded murder, sitting on top of a red dustbin reading a newspaper. He made her jump out of her skin.   
  
He stared at her.   
  
"Sorry-" she said, getting her breath back. "Sorry-thought you might be a alien." She smiled, mostly to show she was harmless, and carried on walking. Then she thought of something and stopped.   
  
"Hang on- Rose is back, right?"   
  
He just _looked_ at her, a withering and rather bitter look.   
  
"I never thought you killed her," Trisha said hastily. "I thought it was those-things."   
  
"What things?" he asked coolly.   
  
"Those- you know- those things- people said it was terrorists or something- those things with guns, and people said their phones tried to eat them and stuff..."   
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Did you believe it?"   
  
"Sort of, yeah..."   
  
"It's true," he said. "Every word of it. There's more stuff going on out there then you can possibly imagine."   
  
"I can imagine quite a bit," she said. She knew she wasn't really in a position to be flippant with him, considering...but...   
  
"Rose has left again," he said. "In case you wanted to say bye or something. She's gone."   
  
"Gone where?" Trisha asked, baffled. "And I didn't know her enough to say goodbye, so I don't know what you're on about..."   
  
He shrugged. "She didn't even say bye to Shareen, now I think about it. Anyway. You'd better go."   
  
But she didn't much want to, now.   
  
"There were really aliens as well, right?"   
  
"Yes," he said shortly. And then, "I _saw_ them. I _fought_ them. Now go home."   
  
Shocked, she did.   
  
*  
  
She stayed up most of the night with her mum, watching TV.   
  
"Funny thing happened while you were out," her mum told her. "Bloke came to the door."   
  
"What sort of bloke?"   
  
"Big ears, big nose, black hair. Told me Sam had been graffiting his property."   
  
"Oh." She could well believe that of her brother. "What happened?"   
  
"He told Sam to get a bucket of water and wash the paint off. And Sam did. No swearin' or nothing from him..."   
  
That was harder to believe.   
  
"Has he gone to bed?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
When she went upstairs Sam called to her.   
  
"That man was _weird_. You know what he wanted me to clean? A _telephone box_. A _blue_ one."   
  
"Oh. Well, maybe it was his. Someone's got to own telephone boxes, after all."   
  
"Mickey Smith was there," Sam added. "I think they're friends."   
  
Trisha went to bed very, very worried.   
  
*  
  
"Why doesn't anyone believe it?" she said furiously the next day at breakfast. "I just read the _entire_ paper, and no-one's even hinted that it might be _real_ , it might have _happened_ \- and it's not as if they didn't _see_ it! I don't get it..."   
  
"Trisha," her mother said, "just let it go. It doesn't affect us, really- maybe it was real and maybe it wasn't, but it's over now."   
  
She really couldn't be bothered to answer that.   
  
First chance she got, she decided to go looking for Mickey. She looked where she'd seen him yesterday, and went to the park, and then she saw Shireen, Rose's best friend, wandering about. She was wary of Shareen, mostly because Shareen was thin and very pretty, and she was not.   
  
"Shareen, this will sound weird, but have you seen Mickey? D'ya know where he lives?"   
  
Shareen smelled of cigarette smoke. She gave Trisha a look that she couldn't really read- it was sort of pity, probably. Shareen had given her that look before. "Dunno. Why do you want him?"   
  
She thought quickly. "It's Rose."   
  
Shareen's expression changed instantly, to something a bit like anger. "You know she's left again, then? Jackie said on the phone. She didn't even say goodbye to me, not properly- a message on my answering machine, that was it."   
  
"I...yeah, I know. I saw Mickey last night...I mean, I ran into him. He was talking about aliens and I, umm..."   
  
Shareen took a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. "You talk too quickly," she said. "And you don't even know Rose or Mickey."   
  
"Yeah, I know, but I saw him last night hanging out around here...we were talking, a bit..."   
  
"Maybe you should mind your own business."   
  
"I just want to know where he lives..."   
  
Shareen pointed to the nearby flat with her cigarette lighter. "He lives there. Number thirteen. Second floor up. Enjoy yourself."   
  
"Thank you," she said hurriedly, and started running in that direction.   
  
*  
  
Halfway up the stairs, she remembered how stupid she looked while running, and slowed down. She reached number thirteen, and knocked on the door. Mickey answered.   
  
"Oh, it's you," he said.   
  
"Yeah," she said, "I...um...sorry."   
  
"You might as well come in," he said, and she did. The flat was a mess. "Have a seat, if you can find it. Why'd you come here?"   
  
"Because aliens invaded," she said simply. "And...well, I think you know more than I know."   
  
"Why do you care?" he asked, in a deeply suspicious tone.   
  
"I dunno..."   
  
He went into the other room and switched the computer on. "Do you care about what happened a year or so ago, the day Rose went missing?" he asked. "The shop dummies, the phones and the flowerpots? And god knows what else. It wasn't terrorists. It was aliens. Different aliens."   
  
"How do you know?" Trisha asked. She realized Mickey scared her.   
  
"Because someone was killed in that attack...and I ended up sort of...making friends with his family...and they showed me the website. You hear that? People got _killed_." He looked rather accusing.   
  
Trisha didn't know where to start. "I want to hear, you know. Can't you start from the beginning? What family?"   
  
"The Finches. The man who died was called Clive Finch, and the people I met were his wife Maggie and his son Thomas. I sort of...followed Thomas back home one day. I mean, the day after Rose went off, him and me got talking..." He looked exasperated. "I'd rather you left..."   
  
"No," Trisha said, knowing she was being stupid and stubborn and all sorts of other things. "So...hang on...you met these people and they showed you a website?"   
  
"They _gave_ me the website," Mickey said. "It used to be Clive's. He was collecting information about the Doctor. The Doctor was the man who took Rose." he added. Trisha's head spun.   
  
"The forty-year-old she ran off with?"   
  
"He's not forty," Mickey said grimly.   
  
"How about I look at the website?"   
  
So without a word, he moved aside and let her sit at the computer desk.   
  
*  
  
She read it all. The eyewitness accounts, the bits written by Clive, the memorial _for_ Clive...she was decidedly frightened by the end of it. She closed the window and turned to Mickey.   
  
"Rose Tyler has run away with a...a time traveller?"   
  
"Yeah." Was that a flicker of approval in his eyes?   
  
She stared at the blank screen. "Oh." And then, "Were you there? Did you know?"   
  
"I was there when he invited her along. She said..." But then he trailed off.   
  
"What did she say?"   
  
"Oh, you don't want to know. Maybe you'd better go now."   
  
So she got up, and he looked at her critically. She hated it.   
  
"Did you come here to talk to me, or just because you wanted to learn about aliens?" he said finally. "Because I want to know...where was everybody when I was being questioned by the police for something I didn't do? No sign of you."   
  
"I didn't know," she said, looking at the ground.   
  
He gave her that look again, a look of anger and cynicism and fear and all sorts of things. "Just go, okay? And don't tell anybody."   
  
Before long she was standing in the fresh air outside the flat. Shareen was nowhere to be seen. Trisha wondered if _she_ knew anything about this. Still, she wasn't going to ask her.   
  
It was cold. She went home.   
  
*  
  
Her mother was watching TV when she came in. Trisha sat next to her. It was another reality show. Big Brother, probably.   
  
"Mum," Trisha said.   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"The bloke who told Sam off...did he have a leather jacket?"   
  
"Might have done. Why're you asking?"   
  
"I've...seen him around...."   
  
"Seemed quite nice. Most blokes aren't like that, if they catch kids mucking about."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
*  
  
That night, Trisha thought. She thought quite a lot. She remembered what she'd thought the first time she'd seen a poster of Rose: _She's the same age as me- that just isn't fair..._ And she also remembered, vaguely, seeing Jackie Tyler wandering around- once she'd been wandering about the park in the early morning, with no make-up, crying to herself...this from the woman who could shout at anyone, who'd even hit people if the situation called for it...she should have gone to her then. Got out of bed and gone outside and told Jackie it was going to be alright.   
  
Except it hadn't turned out alright, as far as she could tell. Jackie was still missing her daughter.   
  
She had had far too much information given to her in one day. She had nightmares that night- well, not nightmares exactly, just strange images. Space and machinery and closing doors and all the rest of it.   
  
*  
  
The next day it was raining, and she wanted to stay in and read, but her mother sent her out to the shops. On the way she passed Shareen.   
  
"You want to stay away from Mickey," the prettier girl said. "He's _Rose's_ boyfriend."   
  
"We only talked," Trisha said, baffled.   
  
"I don't care. You've got no right." Trisha had the feeling that Shareen didn't like her much. She supposed she was within her rights. She carried on to the shops. But when she went back again, Shareen was still there.   
  
"You were in Mickey's flat," she said, as if Trisha had never left.   
  
"You told me where it was- you said _enjoy yourself_."   
  
"I thought he'd chuck you out- but no, he let you in. Idiots, the pair of you. Do you know what he's been saying?"   
  
"About the aliens? You know they were real. You were _there_."   
  
"Of course I was there. But he's- you know- he's gone completely mental since Rose left- all this stuff about the Doctor- he's going to get everyone into trouble, and he doesn't even realise it."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Don't say _oh_. You don't get it, anyway. Like I said, you don't even know Mickey or Rose..."   
  
"I don't want to poke around or anything-"   
  
"You _are_ , little girl." This was said with real venom, and Trisha was surprised. Then Shareen walked away. Trisha did not follow.   
  
*****   
  
She received an email from Mickey the next day. She had no clue how he'd gotten her email address. Possibly he'd found the old website she'd set up eons ago, when she'd been into photography- it had her name and email and a bunch of photographs on it.   
  
_I dont know Shareen very well but I thought I'd tell you to ignore her. She's quite upset. With good reason. Anyway I shouldn't have told you anything, forget about it. Please._  
  
She didn't forget it. She went back to the website, again and again, staring at the photographs, mentally making notes. She thought that the website wasn't very organised or very pretty, but then again it didn't need to be, and maybe he wanted to keep it the way Clive had left it.   
  
She sent an email back to Mickey, making sure it was spell-checked:   
  
_I suppose she is upset. I don't think she ever liked me anyway, though. How did you get my email address?_  
  
He sent back an email almost right away. She had a strange picture in her head of him sitting there in his messy flat, no-one else around, pictures of Rose all around him and writing to her. _Talking_ to her.   
  
_I asked your mum. she works in the same place my mum works. or usd to, I'm not sure._  
  
She didn't reply to that one, as there wasn't much to say, but the next day she got another email.   
  
_The thing is, even the Doctor says this stuff is dangerous and it's pretty much his day job. If you know anything else then you might end up in danger, because I didn't know all that much and even I ended up in danger._  
  
She decided to go to his flat. Aside from anything else, it would give her exercise, and she wanted it. She knocked on the door, and Mickey flung it open looking frantic- and then his face fell.   
  
"I thought you were Jackie," he said. "She's in a right state. She was just here, crying about it being ten seconds...oh, never mind."   
  
"Ten seconds?"   
  
" _Never mind_. I should go and find her-"   
  
He ran off. He left his door open, so Trisha went in and sat down. The computer wasn't on. A big picture of Rose stared at her from the coffee table.   
  
She was there for almost half an hour. She didn't do much- she glanced in the kitchen, and it looked pretty much like any other kitchen. Except there were post-it notes stuck in various places- one stuck on the toaster that read WEBSITE COMPETITION, one stuck on the door that said READ ALL DICKEN'S NOVELS, one stuck on the window that said GIVE THOMAS OLD COMIC BOOKS, and underneath '(but you won't forget that anyway)'.   
  
When Mickey came back in, he didn't seem surprised to see her. Or irritated, come to that.   
  
"I _wish_ she hadn't left," he muttered under his breath. "I wish I'd-" But he said no more of that.   
  
"How's Jackie?" Trisha asked.   
  
"She's alright- I think," He sighed. "Before she left, Rose said she'd be back in ten seconds, seeing as with the T- with time travel it's possible. It's been more than that. As you probably can tell."   
  
"Yeah," she said uselessly.   
  
"Anyway, you...you seem to like it in my flat."   
  
"Am I really in danger?" she asked, before she could stop herself.   
  
"At the moment? No, but...I suppose I wasn't either, and then I had to whack an alien with a baseball bat. Anyway, I just came back here to lock up. I'm going back to Jackie's."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"The woman lost her daughter, Trisha -again. You haven't really seen her at all, have you?"   
  
He left.   
  
*  
  
Trisha went back home. She went on the website again, and looked over the notes she'd made. She wondered where Rose was right now- wherever 'now' was. She thought of something she'd forgotten to ask Mickey: if the Doctor was so dangerous, why'd he taken Rose along with him?   
  
Poor Jackie, she thought.   
  
She thought of writing an email to Mickey, but it seemed a bit silly, since she could just go to his flat whenever she wanted. Until he chucked her out, she supposed. Like Shareen had expected.   
  
All this stuff happening right under her nose, and she hadn't known. How weird. How daft of her...   
  
She went to bed late, her mother telling her off for costing them money. She'd been on the internet too long.   
  
*  
  
In the morning she woke up to the sound of nothing in particular. She got up and pulled the curtains open, letting in the light. She could see Shareen in the courtyard below. She was sitting on a wall, holding a cigarette, and very possibly crying.   
  
Trisha got dressed quickly, not much caring what she put on, and went downstairs as quietly as possible. Shareen was still there. She wasn't actually crying, but she was close.   
  
"Hello," Trisha said.   
  
Shareen gave her a look of contempt. "What d'you want?"   
  
"Nothing. I just saw you from my bedroom window..."   
  
"Doing more poking around, then?"   
  
"No! I'll go away if you want. I just thought I'd tell you that everything will probably be all right."   
  
The other girl just stared. "Rose left," Shareen said blandly. "She didn't say goodbye in person, she didn't think her best friend might fancy some information about where she was actually going, she just left. I thought I was her best friend. Turns out I'm not."   
  
Trisha could only nod.   
  
"And after vanishing for a year...there's no-one on earth more selfish than she is. I was worried sick. I cried all the time. I thought she'd been murdered- I thought I'd never see her again, never go down the shops with her again, never go to the pub with her again- and she-"   
  
Trisha opened her mouth to speak, but Shareen cut her off. "No. I don't want to hear it. Clearly, she was more into this mental bloke in a leather jacket than she was into anything else in the world. Even her mum and her boyfriend. Don't you start f- don't you start defending her."   
  
"How come you're crying, then?" Trisha said, with surprising boldness.   
  
"Damned if I know- I just..." She turned away furiously, and said, "Go home."   
  
"I live here."   
  
"You know what I mean!"   
  
But Trisha didn't go away, and eventually Shareen just started crying, not caring who was there. Trisha sat down next to her. Shareen didn't push her off the wall.   
  
And that was it, for the moment.


	4. Coward In Your Own Story

Precisely one week and two days after Rose had left for the second time, Mickey went to visit the Finches. It was the first time he'd dropped by completely uninvited, and he was nervous. They might be trying to put their former lives behind them, or the alien invasion might have unburied the past again.   
  
Maggie let him in.   
  
"Hello, Mickey," she said. Mickey stepped into the house warily, plastic bag in hand. "What're you doing here? Something..." She looked closely at his face. "Something happened?"   
  
Mickey held the plastic bag in front of him. "I brought some comic books for Thomas. Old ones."   
  
"That's very good of you," she said, and it sounded like she meant it. "He's upstairs, watching TV. Maybe you'd better go and see him."   
  
Mickey climbed the stairs slowly, aware of Maggie watching him from the lobby. He went to the door with the _Star Wars_ poster on it, and knocked.   
  
"Who's that?" called the voice of somebody miserable.   
  
"It's me. Mickey. Remember me?"   
  
The door was yanked open right away. Thomas stood there still in his pyjamas, fear etched across his face. "Why are you here? What's going on?"   
  
"Nothing bad, Thomas."   
  
"The aliens-"   
  
"They've definitely gone."   
  
Thomas dropped his gaze to the plastic bag. "And what're they for?"   
  
"They're for you."   
  
"Oh,"   
  
Mickey handed over the bag. "Maybe you should get changed. I need to talk to your mum, but you might as well hear it all as well."   
  
He went downstairs. Maggie was making tea.   
  
"D'ya want something to drink?" she said. "We've got tea, and coke, and lemonade and all..."   
  
"No thanks."   
  
"Sit down, then."   
  
He sat on one of the sofas. "I don't have much to say. I just thought I'd keep you updated."   
  
"We look at the website every single day, you know," she said, not unkindly.   
  
"I know, but it's not like being told in person..."   
  
"I suppose not," And then, totally out of the blue: "So, you went and fought aliens then?"   
  
He nodded. It seemed easier then telling her the entire truth, which after all involved missiles and computers and putting Rose in danger.   
  
"I see," Maggie took a gulp of her tea. "Well, thank you, Mickey Smith. I'm sure you deserve it."   
  
Mickey blinked: that was slightly weird. Well, slightly weird considering that just that morning he'd received twenty emails telling him he was a weirdo and a liar and a freak and god knew what else.   
  
"Thank _you_ ," he said.   
  
Thomas came thundering down the stairs, not in his pyjamas anymore. "Thanks for the comic books," he said. "They look good."   
  
"Sit down," Maggie said. "We have guests. Well, a guest. So," she said, turning back to Mickey, "the Doctor. He gave you this disk?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Are you sure it was wise to announce this to the entire internet?"   
  
He paused; that was actually quite a valid comment. And something he hadn't even begun to think about.   
  
"I didn't see why not-"   
  
"No. But you want to watch it. I read the whole thing, very carefully, and you didn't mention Rose."   
  
She was, of course, very right. "Yeah, but no-one cares about her..." He was shocked to hear those words coming from his mouth. "I mean, not about her and me. So I didn't think I ought to say, where she is..."   
  
"And where is she?" Maggie asked, sharp as ever.   
  
Mickey shrugged. "I don't know- she went with him."   
  
"The Doctor?" Thomas said. "That's who you're talking about, right? She went with him again?"  
  
"Yeah," Mickey said. Maggie looked sympathetic.   
  
"And they didn't let you come?" Thomas went on.   
  
"No-I...I..." But he couldn't quite say it.   
  
"You what?" Thomas asked.   
  
"I didn't- they didn't let me come."   
  
"Did you _ask_?"   
  
" _Rose_ asked, and he said no." It was as close to the truth as he was going to get.   
  
Thomas went quiet. "I bet it's because she's a girl," he said in a subdued way. "I bet he..." But he didn't finish. Mickey was insanely glad of that.   
  
"So yeah-" he said. "That's it- everything on the website is true, obviously, and Rose and the Doctor have left. And I'm still here."   
  
Maggie nodded. "So," she said. "Where do we go from here?"   
  
Mickey realised he had absolutely no idea, but he didn't want to say so. A silence fell. All he could hear was a tap dripping, and the radio on upstairs.   
  
"Did he ever say anything about Dad?" Thomas finally blurted, "Did you _ask_ him?"   
  
"No-I...he doesn't know who you are. As far as he's concerned, some plastic alien freaks came to Earth, and they killed some people, and he and Rose got rid of them."   
  
"My dad was not _some people_ ," Thomas said sullenly.   
  
"Yeah, I know. But to him..."   
  
The silence this time was truly awful.   
  
"I'm going over the road," Thomas said eventually. "Going to hang out with Adam,"   
  
"Be careful," Maggie said.   
  
"S'only over the road."   
  
"Nonetheless, be careful."   
  
He left, slamming the door surprisingly loudly, and Maggie turned back to Mickey.   
  
"The Doctor said you could come, and you said no, I take it?"   
  
Mickey stared at her, utter fear suddenly making it's presence felt. His stomach churned. "How do you know...?"   
  
"It was obvious," she answered. "Why did you say no?"   
  
He couldn't answer properly. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die horribly. "I didn't...I couldn't...I...I know I _should_ have..."   
  
Maggie just watched him. "Because of all the deaths? You didn't want to die?"   
  
"No...I mean, no-one wants to die- I thought-I knew if I went I'd screw something up, get someone else killed, maybe-"   
  
"You might not have done," she said sensibly.   
  
"I would. I know."   
  
"You're a bit too hard on yourself, I think."   
  
Mickey considered this. Turned it over in his mind. _Mickey the idiot, the world is in your hands_. "Imagine if I got Rose killed," he said. "Just...you know..."   
  
"Mickey, this may not have fully sunken in yet," Maggie said, "but Rose has left the planet with a man in a time machine, and she wanted to go. Where will she go? Straight into danger- and he's letting her. He wanted her to come, you told me. Imagine if _he_ got her killed."   
  
Mickey felt sick.   
  
Maggie put her teacup on the arm of the sofa. "Perhaps you should have stopped her from going."   
  
"I couldn't have..."  
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Her mind was made up. I couldn't have said she had to stay just so me and her mum would be alright..."   
  
"Of course not."   
  
Mickey felt quite irritated with her for that. "She..." he began, and then stopped dead. He had been about to say _She's so selfish_ , and he could barely believe it. His head spun.   
  
"I should have gone. That was my only chance and I blew it."   
  
"Not necessarily. Maybe you have things to do here."   
  
That sounded...pretty daft, to him, and yet it still seemed to make some sort of sense. Still- _things to do here_? It sounded over-dramatic. Or something. Then again, Maggie was giving him a very serious look, and she sounded like she meant it- really meant it, and she'd been so quick to come to terms with the fact that _aliens_ killed her husband...there was more to this woman than there appeared to be.   
  
"Like what?"   
  
"Imagine if aliens came back to Earth. You would almost definitely know what's going on beforehand. You'd be able to warn people."   
  
"Yeah, but..."   
  
"And don't use the virus."   
  
He blinked. "What?"   
  
"That's just my advice- don't use it."   
  
He stared at her. "Maggie...Clive..."   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"He knew about the Doctor...he researched and everything, he _knew_...and he's..."   
  
"Dead. Yes. But he would have died anyway, research or no research," She looked very sad for a moment, and Mickey hated himelf for bringing the subject up. "You never know what might happen," she went on. "I mean, you wound up fighting aliens."   
  
"Yeah, but..."   
  
"Just don't use it." She got up from her chair, picked up the teacup, and marched towards the kitchen. Not sure what to do with himself, Mickey followed. She put the cup in the dishwasher.   
  
"Thanks for coming, Mickey," she said. "It was good of you."   
  
He took that as his cue to go. "S'alright. I thought you ought to know. About all this."   
  
"And you wanted to give those comic books to Thomas. Thank you for that."   
  
He nodded. Then he thought of something he ought to say, but he wasn't sure how to say it. He said it anyway, though- it was the least he could do. "Is Thomas okay? I know it's been a year, but..."   
  
She looked thoughtfully out of the window, towards the house over the road which was presumably Adam's. "He's managing as well as could be expected...it's just..." She sighed. "In front of him, and everything. Shot dead before his eyes."   
  
Mickey nodded, and felt guilty for no reason.   
  
"I'd better go," he said.   
  
*  
  
He drove home. The streets were full of traffic- he spent a long time not moving at all. He got plenty of opportunities to think.   
  
_Hi, I'm Mickey, I'm so sorry, I just followed this kid home because he was upset and I wanted to check he was alright-you're his mum, right?_  
  
Where was Rose, now? What if she was facing death?   
  
_They weren't human, those things, they were shooting people. They shot my husband, his father...right in front of us...sorry about this, you must think I'm completely crazy..._  
  
 _Listen, Maggie, if I told you this would you believe me? You're right, they weren't human...I saw them. I was there._  
  
They were good people, Maggie and Thomas. Sensible, too. He had a feeling that if it had been one of _them_ in the situation he'd been in the night Rose left for the first time, the Doctor would have asked them along too. And why not?   
  
God, it was a hard thing to get your head around...that the defender of humanity and Earth and all things good didn't like you very much. At least he hadn't said a word to Rose. Unless he had...and Mickey felt that if he had, and he found out about it, he wouldn't forgive him in a hurry.   
  
_Come with us._  
  
Oh yes. He was an idiot alright. Things to do here, indeed. What could he possibly do here that was useful? While Rose...she was probably saving someone else's planet. Helping people- people with three heads and purple eyes, probably, but people nonetheless. And he was just one person here, few friends, definitely no-one like the Doctor around to give him yet another chance...   
  
_The world is in your hands._  
  
Liar, he thought.   
  
*  
  
When he got home he turned the computer on and went to check his email. Every time, about a week after the update, emails would come pouring in. He didn't even really have time to open them all- but he did.   
  
It was the usual stuff. More of what had been sent to him this morning. Emails consisting of one or two swear words, mostly.   
  
He deleted most of them, and then about halfway through came across a very long one, typed in tiny writing. He strained his eyes to read it.   
  
_You, 'M', are a disgusting person. I followed the Rose Tyler story in the newspapers- she was a real person, and you're stealing her image and story for a pathetic false 'conspiracy' website. She was murdered, possibly by her own boyfriend, and you're trying to say she's off time-travelling somewhere. As for 'the Doctor'- I recognize that face, are you sure he's not an actor, perhaps? Or maybe even a friend of yours who allows you access to his photos. I think it's sickening.  
  
Or perhaps you ARE the boyfriend- your latest couple of entries point to that. In that case, it's doubly sickening. I hope the police get ahold of you soon, you psychopath. Undoubtably they know about this. Did you kill her? I haven't had time to check the papers, what with all the chaos over the alien hoax (and I can't believe you a) think it happened and b) are taking credit for getting rid of them) but I expect I'll see your arrest in there someday. Hopefully, someday soon.   
  
Whether you're the boyfriend (Mickey Smith?) or just some random idiot who thought this would be funny- a nice story about time travel and aliens- I hate you. You should be in jail. Or dead.   
  
No love,   
incredible1 _  
  
Mickey read it through a couple of times, and groaned.   
  
"Oh, that's really made my day," he said out loud, to nobody. He felt like crying.   
  
_I hate you._  
  
He thought about actually replying, but figured it would get him nowhere. He went through the rest of the email moving purely on autopilot, wanting to go to bed.   
  
There was one from Trisha.   
  
_I like the update for the website. It doesn't say where Rose went, though. I just thought I'd say that in case people start asking you questions about her. I mean, she came back, but now she's gone again, you know? You need a cover story.  
  
Do you suppose she's alright? Heck, are_ you _alright?_  
  
He read through it, and realised he was grateful beyond all reason. He hadn't been expecting this- maybe he should have. He hit reply.   
  
_I don't know if she's alright. I hope so. I should have gone with her. I'm such an idiot.  
  
Jackie will probably have a cover story. _  
  
He looked at Trisha's email again. She shouldn't get involved in this. She had no idea. It was a scary business.   
  
And not in the monsters-and-aliens way, either. Another way. Waking up in the morning, thinking _Rose has gone, and I didn't go with her, that was my choice and my only chance and I went and blew it, I'm the coward in my own story_ \- that was worse than any monster. Having Jackie crying a lot of the time- that was worse than any monster, as well. And having Rose gone, maybe even gone for good, who knew...   
  
The coward in your own story. Horrible thing to be.   
  
He didn't hate the Doctor, though. Or he was fairly sure he didn't. Mostly because he had a feeling that if he hated the Doctor, he was automatically hating Rose as well.   
  
Back to the email. He read it yet again, thoughtfully. And then typed the last line of his reply.   
  
_Thanks for caring, anyway._


	5. The One I Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to anyone whose mobile number I co-opted. (Unless, of course, that was MY number back in 2005 and thus the one I put in.)

On Saturday- it was now roughly two weeks after Rose had left, although she had no idea why she was keeping count- Trisha's other brother Rob showed up at their house for a visit. Rob didn't look like he was related to any of them: he was thin, for a start, and had blondish hair instead of dark. He took after his father, as a matter of fact.   
  
He had moved away from London a couple of years ago: he wanted to go travel the world. So far he'd already been to America and Italy, but then had settled down in Cardiff with a girl he'd met while traveling. Except now the girl had gone. But he was having a fantastic time, he always was, and Trisha was jealous. Jealous of her own brother- it was probably pathetic.   
  
"Dad sent me a birthday card this year," he said to her at some point. That made her want to run upstairs and scream- _she_ hadn't received a birthday card since she was seven. Neither had Sam, come to think of it, but he didn't seem to care as much.   
  
After lunch (beans on toast, it was all they had) Rob sat next to her on the sofa, turned on the TV and said to her, "By the way, Trisha...is Rose still around? Pretty blonde bird? I think she fancied me, it'd be good to see her again..."   
  
Trisha lost her voice for two seconds. "Er...Rose who I worked with at the shop?"   
  
"Yeah, that's her. She was _mature_ for her age...came to the pub with me once or twice...I rather liked her."   
  
"That was two years ago- you were dating Hannah Addrison then."   
  
"I know, I know. But I'm not dating her now, am I? And I'm not dating Josephine either, anymore...I just wondered if she was around, that's all."   
  
Trisha took a deep breath. "Well, she's not around anymore. She's off traveling with an older man."   
  
"Seriously?"   
  
"Yeah. And before that she had a boyfriend, so...you missed out, I'm afraid."   
  
Rob shrugged and watched the TV for two hours.   
  
*  
  
Rob didn't bother staying the night- he said he was going to go to the pub and then to a hotel. Trisha's mother was annoyed about it.   
  
"Takes after his father, that one...doesn't care about the people he's related to, spends all his days chasing girls- and poor Josephine! She always sounded so happy on the phone, and then she catches him making out with a schoolteacher on a sofa- _her_ sofa..."   
  
Not wanting to hear all this- her family had always been somewhat of a train wreck, really- Trisha went outside to the balcony. The sun was setting. It made everything look prettier and more peaceful than it actually was, probably, but sunsets couldn't last forever.   
  
She'd lived in London all her life- she'd never even been out of England. She felt....sort of neutral about it, really. Or she did at the moment, she'd probably have changed her mind and be feeling depressed about it tomorrow. But for now...   
  
...well, she had a pretty sunset.   
  
That would do.   
  
She looked over the balcony at the ground below, and saw Mickey down there. He had a girl with him...it was Shareen. Maybe she should go down there and...and what? She wasn't friends with Shareen, and she really didn't know what Mickey thought of her.   
  
Roughly two weeks ago she probably would have gone back inside, but now...well, it couldn't hurt. She went down the stairs. It was getting gradually darker, but she could see Mickey and Shareen in the distance, standing near a wall. They were talking. She was intruding. Well...   
  
Mickey looked up and he saw her. He looked at Shareen, then left her and walked over.   
  
"What're you doing here?" he asked.   
  
"I saw you from the balcony."   
  
"I'm talking to Shareen."   
  
"Yeah, I know, but..."   
  
"I'll email you or something later. Just...go...back to bed or something."   
  
He went back to Shareen, who shot her a nasty look. Trisha went back home.   
  
*  
  
The next morning she checked her email. Just one, from Mickey.   
  
_Go to www.aliensinlondon.co.uk. It's pretty interesting._  
  
She went. She was greeted with the same picture that had been on Mickey's website- the Siltheen. Beneath it it said: ALIENS INVADED LONDON ONLY A FEW WEEKS AGO. THIS IS A FACT. CLICK HERE TO READ MORE. She didn't click, but she noted the small line of text at the bottom: _We have over one million members!!!!!_ Hmmm.   
  
She went back to the email and typed back to Mickey, _So does that mean over one million people would believe you?_  
  
He replied within a matter of minutes, while she was looking around the website: _Yeah. I wish they hadn't stolen my pictures, though._  
  
He was always really quick to reply. She supposed it was because he was working on the website- gradually he was working on it more and more, it had interviews and competitions and everything now. Still, she didn't mind at all- it was like having a proper conversation with him. And he couldn't see her, either. That was good, because really, who'd want to look at her?   
  
She went back to the website and clicked around. They'd actually done a fairly good job: she could see people being convinced by this. Most of the pictures were stolen from Mickey, but she supposed at least that meant a few more people would get to see them. The word would be spread around, before long millions of people would know exactly what had happened, and they...   
  
And they what? She didn't know. What _could_ they do? The aliens had gone, after all.   
  
She was suddenly bitterly disappointed, and wasn't even sure why. Then her email beeped. She went to look. Mickey again, obviously:   
  
_Here's my mobile number: 08717 178553. I've got yours already, your brother gave it to me when he was here. I asked him and he was all, 'what are you doing with my sister'. It was really embarrassing.  
  
I just thought it was time you had the number anyway. _  
  
She read it through several times. She tried to make sense of it. All she could see was the fact that he was embarassed even at the mere thought of them being more than friends- _acquaintances_ \- but surely that wasn't it? And anyway, sometimes boys were embarassed at the mere thought of being more than friends with girls who _weren't_ fat and ugly.   
  
It was nothing, it was nothing...   
  
Without thinking she leaned over to the phone and dialed the number. Mickey answered.   
  
"Hello. Is that you, Trisha?"   
  
"Yeah. Me. Hello." She wasn't sure what to say, really. So she said the other thing that was on her mind: "Um, I've been wondering...what are you going to do- what are we all going to do- when Rose comes back, or more aliens come, or something?"   
  
There was a long silence. Trisha's screensaver came on -she hadn't moved the mouse since clicking on that email, after all- and she closed it irritably.   
  
"I don't know," Mickey said. Then, "Look, sometimes I really wish everything had stayed exactly the same, exactly the same- I _loved_ her, we were perfect, to me..."   
  
_So you keep saying_ , Trisha's jealous side said nastily. But then Mickey said, "And then, just sometimes- only sometimes, alright?- I think that maybe- _as long as she comes back_ \- I can live with it. Because if it wasn't for...for the Doctor, then I wouldn't have met Maggie and Thomas and you, and I wouldn't be running the website, and..."   
  
"You wouldn't have fought aliens," Trisha supplied.   
  
"Yeah...I'd have run a mile, if I'd been faced with that thing and it'd been a few years ago."   
  
There was another silence, but it was an okay sort of silence this time.   
  
"And I wouldn't be here talking to you," Trisha said.   
  
"No," Mickey said. But he added, "Only sometimes I think that, right? But I don't know what I, you know, actually think."   
  
And then Trisha thought of something it might be a good idea to say, but she wasn't sure if she ought to say it. It might upset him...but when had staying silent ever done her any favours?   
  
"Mickey, what if...what if Rose...when she comes back...she, um, isn't interested in you anymore?" She expected to hear Mickey's phone hanging up, but that didn't happen.   
  
"You know what?" Mickey said morosely, "You must have read my mind."   
  
*  
  
After that phone call, the rest of the day went as normal. Until the doorbell. She went to the door, expecting it to be Mickey, but instead it was Shireen.   
  
"I want to talk to you," Shareen said.   
  
"Me?" Trisha said, baffled.   
  
"I don't see anyone else here, do you?"   
  
"What do you want to talk about?" Trisha asked.   
  
"Not here. Come on..." And she walked away, and Trisha followed her. They went out of the flats to a bench. Shareen sat down and lit a cigarette.   
  
"What are you fucking doing with Mickey?" she asked.   
  
Not this again. "Nothing," Trisha said. "I just...look, you've been talking to him, haven't you? About Rose."   
  
She gave a very unladylike snort. " _He's_ been talking to _me_. I don't want to believe a word of that shit."   
  
"But you do." This was probably the boldest statement she'd ever made in front of Shareen, and in return she got a glare.   
  
"It's stupid," Shareen said. "It can't happen...."   
  
"You saw the aliens on the TV, remember? You _saw_ it. You saw _everything_."   
  
"Not Rose," Shareen said. "I didn't see Rose, didn't see where she went and with who..."   
  
"You believe it," Trisha said. "You do." She knew this was going to be one of those conversations that went round in circles until the participants came to blows, but she had to try -despite the fact that if Shareen wanted to pummel her, she certainly would.   
  
"I didn't even want to talk to you about that," Shareen said. She blew smoke out of her mouth- Trisha loathed the smell of cigarettes, but she couldn't very well tell her to stop- and said, "A week or so ago, whenever it was- you came down here in the morning. When I was here. You talked to me. Why?"   
  
"You were upset..."   
  
"So?"   
  
"You mean I mustn't ever talk to you?" Trisha said. "I mustn't talk to you or even to Mickey?"   
  
"You didn't even know Rose! Not properly. You weren't friends. Me and Mickey were her friends- it's _our_ business. And you, you _bitch_ , walking in while she's gone and taking her boyfriend..."   
  
Trisha, for the first time that day, felt genuinely angry with her. "I'm not doing anything like that! You're the one who's so- who's so narrow-minded you don't even know where she's gone- at least I listened to what Mickey had to say!"   
  
"I _know_ where she's gone!" Shareen yelled. At that moment, a woman walking her dog walked past, and both of them were forced to shut up. When Shireen spoke again she kept her voice down. "She left a message on my answering machine. She said she was going to the stars with a man who'd show her the universe, and she'd bring me back a present."   
  
Trisha almost laughed at that- it sounded funny for some reason. "So...Shareen, she as good as told you she's not even on Earth anymore."   
  
"She probably meant it metaphorically."   
  
"You're kidding yourself!" Had she actually said that? To Shareen, of all people? Blimey.   
  
"All I see is that she went off with some man. She might even have been brainwashed..."   
  
"No, Shareen."   
  
Shareen said nothing, just took a drag on her cigarette. "You sound different. You know that? I used to see you around, you were this shy little lardball who never said anything..." She clearly noticed the brief flicker of fury in Trisha's eyes, because she laughed and said. "Oh, sorry. Don't want to make you anorexic. Anyway, now you're lording it about the place thinking you know everything about this, aren't you? Well, you don't."   
  
Trisha took a deep breath. "Just tell me this...do you believe that the man Rose went off with was actually a time traveler called the Doctor? Say yes or no."   
  
A pause. "Why do you even care?" Shareen asked.   
  
"I don't know."   
  
"Well, guess what- I don't know either. Now listen to me- stay away from Mickey, and from me and all. I don't like you."   
  
"We've been through that."   
  
"Well, now we're going through it again."   
  
"This isn't what you wanted to say," Trisha said hastily, "you didn't just come to my house and get me because you wanted to yell at me..."   
  
"Why shouldn't I?"   
  
"Because," Trisha said. Oh, this was the stupidest conversation she'd ever had...   
  
" _Yes_!" Shareen shrieked all of a sudden. " _Yes_ , she's gone off to another world, she's never coming back, the whole world's fucking mad- _yes_ , _yes_ , fucking _yes_ , alright?"   
  
She ran away, and Trisha was left alone. Or not. She turned around, and Mickey was standing behind her.   
  
"Mickey!" She wasn't sure if she'd ever been more pleased to see _anyone_ before. "What're you...?"   
  
"I heard everything from 'lardball'," Mickey said. Trisha flushed and looked away. "Which you're not, you know," he added. "I've seen lardballs, you're not one. Anyway," he shrugged. "I thought she always believed it, you know. Just...wanted to deny it."   
  
"I can see why she'd do that..."   
  
He shrugged again. "She ought to leave you alone. You don't have to stay away from me, you know..."   
  
"Yeah." That was all she could manage. Then, although she was almost shaking as she said it, she said, "Shareen thinks I'm...you're...you know, that I'm stealing you."   
  
"What, from Rose?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
He looked so depressed- so very depressed, and then he said, "I don't know how it happened, how the hell it happened- but you're the only one I can talk to."   
  
"Oh..."   
  
"It doesn't mean anything. We're not...but you're my friend, alright?"   
  
That was strange. That was so very strange...   
  
"Yeah. Yeah, of course..."   
  
He walked away. She wanted to call after him, or even run after him and hug him...but she'd already had enough dramatic moments for one day. She wasn't cut out for this sort of thing.   
  
*  
  
For almost a week she didn't see Mickey. She checked the website: he had something new on there- some kid had won the first website competition. Some kid called Adam Mitchell. The name rang a bell for some reason.   
  
She opened the email- Mickey was the only person she ever emailed, really. He and her dad were the only people in the address book.   
  
_That Adam kid- I think he's a friend of my brother. My younger brother, that is. I think they go to the same school._  
  
It wasn't until after tea that he emailed back: _I barely met him- it was his mother who'd been to the website. She obviously thinks I'm nuts, but she'll do anything to get her darling boy noticed._  
  
She filed the email away. She'd filed all his emails away. Sometimes she'd even read through them all again...   
  
Oh, it was probably pathetic.   
  
Especially since he'd forget about her eventually. Because one day Rose would be back, with stories to tell, stories that would most definitely have no place for her. And somewhere out there worlds would end and stars would collide and...and all that other stuff. All that other stuff she knew nothing about.   
  
Rose and her friends would save a million worlds, and she had no-one to save. Mickey had said he should have gone with Rose, and she understood that perfectly...but who would want a fat brunette girl tagging along with them? She'd get killed, or worse, get someone else killed...she'd run a mile from any monsters, she'd be too afraid to give anyone or anything a chance...   
  
She wandered outside to the balcony. It was night and the stars were out. There were no people anywhere that she could see. It was just _dark_. Perfect place to wait and watch and think things over.   
  
_She's out there somewhere- maybe she's walking on pink sand, or purple grass. Maybe she's never coming back, because if she does, what will she do? After having done more than any other human in the world?_  
  
 _She could save her own world_ , a tiny voice in the back of her head said.   
  
Somewhere, a door opened, and a siren wailed. London looked different at night- everything did. Like you could strain your eyes enough, and there _might_ be a fleet of alien ships on the horizon...   
  
_I bet ants don't know what humans are. Except that they ought to be avoided, because you could get crushed. But if ants never came out from underground...well, then I don't know what. You'd be able to go on picnics? People wouldn't be able to poison them? No-one would ever see an ant? I don't know._  
  
She had guessed this would happen. That one day she would be so miserable about herself, the fact that she didn't go to school or have a job anymore...after the incident at the department store she'd had on-and-off jobs, at the chip shop and so on, but they hadn't lasted long. And she _was_ miserable.   
  
Rose was somewhere fighting...Trisha had never fought. _Because you need something to fight_ against, she thought. _And...what's here to fight? Who's going to turn up and say This is your choice, and it might not be easy but at least you know what the right and wrong options are? The Doctor did for Rose...I doubt anyone will for me._  
  
*  
  
The next day, she received an email from Mickey. It was utterly unexpected, and, furthermore, the single most important email she would recieve in her life.   
  
_Trisha,  
  
I was thinking about how come you ended up with me in the first place. You want a sort of adventure, right? You want to feel like you're doing something, being something, like you've saving the world and you'll die happy. I'm not going to give you any of that, obviously. I don't even have Rose anymore, and I loved her. I wasn't good enough. Maybe if you were faced with the same choices you'd get it right, or maybe anyone who wasn't me would. I dunno.   
  
So those are my answers to everything. It's probably not good enough. But I figure, most people wish they were somewhere other than here. But if everyone left Earth, what would be left? People are pretty important. So then they could blow the planet up and no-one would miss it.   
  
-Mickey   
  
p.s. I saw you on the balcony. You looked miserable. Hence this email. _  
  
If she had had a printer, she would have printed it out and kept it. As it was, she hit reply.   
  
_Thanks. I'm not miserable anymore. I figure- even if we're not out there, at least we're here. We have each other at least. (By each other, I mean, you know, not just us...people like your other friends and family and stuff as well.)_  
  
It sounded stupid, but she sent it anyway.   
  
*  
  
Mickey read the email, read it again, and then picked up the phone to call her. But she was clearly quicker- his phone rang first. He picked it up. "Hello."   
  
"Hi," Trisha said. "Umm...I got your email."   
  
"I got yours," he answered.   
  
Silence.   
  
"I didn't know you were watching me," Trisha said. "Did I really look that miserable?"   
  
Mickey paused. "I know what you were thinking," he said.   
  
"Yeah," Trisha said. "It was just..."   
  
In the silence that followed, Mickey looked at the pictures dotted around the computer. Rose, Rose and him, Rose and him and Shareen...they looked _happy_ in every single photo.   
  
_Come with us._  
  
"Trisha, I...we seem to have a lot in common, you know."   
  
"We both wish we'd gone with Rose, you mean?" Trisha said. "Something like that."   
  
Mickey figured then, hearing Trisha say that, that he'd spend his entire life waiting around for Rose. He'd never even properly date...no, date was the wrong word, _fall in love with_ was probably more like it...anyone else again, even if he wanted to. Because how could he when he knew (however vaguely) how fragile time was- it could be changed so easily, he could wake up one day and Rose would be there and he'd just get up and go to work and everything would be normal...or not.  
  
Mickey the idiot, indeed. Poor Trisha.   
  
"Well," he said. "I miss her. I miss her a _lot_."   
  
"Mickey..." she asked hesitantly, "I was wondering, how come you _didn't_ go with her? You said once you wished you did, or something."   
  
Mickey's breath caught in his throat. _Rose doesn't know so there's no need for anyone to know, no-one need ever find out, think of Rose's expression if the Doctor told her, think of Trisha's expression..._  
  
He didn't want Trisha to think he was a coward. Was that it, then?   
  
"The Doctor said I couldn't come. Said I'd be a liability."   
  
What was that he'd typed to the website not so long ago? After Rose had left- and after he'd met Trisha?   
  
_I'm not particularly brave. No, I'm not very strong. My mind isn't that open. But I'm not a LIAR..._  
  
"He said that?" Trisha said, awed. "But you- didn't Rose...?"   
  
"Oh yeah, she asked as well. He said his decision was final."   
  
It was _almost_ true.   
  
"That's...that doesn't seem fair, to me," Trisha said.   
  
"No," Mickey answered. "I...I guess not."   
  
There was a pause, and then Trisha said, "I...well...maybe I'd better go, my mum is calling, she's annoyed that I've added to the phone bill..."   
  
"Trisha," Mickey said quickly, before he could change his mind or look at any of the photographs, "let's go somewhere. The cinema or somewhere...just as friends, you know."   
  
Silence. Then she said breathlessly, "I'd like that."   
  
"Yeah. Alright...how about you come here, in the afternoon?"   
  
"Yeah, I will..."   
  
"Okay, see you then."   
  
"Yeah. Bye."   
  
She hung the phone up. Mickey looked around the room.   
  
_But I'm not a LIAR._  
  
Well. Trisha was ordinary, not like Rose, maybe she wouldn't understand enough to care...   
  
He was fooling himself. She'd understood everything else. What would Rose think of all this? While she was off somewhere traveling with a man better than a boyfriend, he only had a girl he was lying to...   
  
He'd screwed up from day one. From the moment the Doctor stepped on the Earth he'd been utterly doomed.   
  
He wished he had his own time machine.   
  
*  
  
When evening came, he went to the cinema with Trisha. They picked an action movie, watched it in relative silence (not much talking, definitely no kissing) and then sat in the cafe outside.   
  
"You...all through the day you've looked sort of guilty," Trisha ventured when they were sitting drinking coffee. "Is it because you think you're still involved with Rose? You know...as soon as she comes back you'll pick up where you left off?"   
  
Mickey groaned inwardly. "I..."   
  
"Am I just...the person you turned to because you didn't know what else to do?"   
  
At least she hadn't hit on the other reason he looked guilty. "Um. I...we were going out as friends, remember?"   
  
"I know, but..."   
  
"I think..."   
  
And he was about to say _We shouldn't even go out as friends, then, because one thing will lead to another and I don't want it, dammit, I could weigh you and Maggie and Thomas up against Rose and it'd be no contest...and I DON'T KNOW WHY._  
  
"I think we should go home," he muttered. "After this, I mean."   
  
"Yeah," she said.   
  
*  
  
So they went home. Mickey, feeling that he might as well at least try and act like a gentleman, walked her to her front door.   
  
"I don't want to go home," Trisha said, looking out over the balcony instead. "I...you know...they're always arguing."   
  
Mickey didn't know what he himself wanted to do. Go home...and do what? Just think. Just hope, in a way, although he didn't know what for. For Rose coming back? With the Doctor, or without him? Without him she'd be miserable, and with him Mickey would always be second. Just like Trisha was second to Rose- surely she resented that? Surely she resented that every time she even looked at him?   
  
He was so bloody useless- even in the real world.   
  
It really wasn't fair.   
  
"The sun's setting," Trisha said. "We could just go and watch it. I mean, if you don't think..."   
  
"I don't mind," he said.   
  
So they watched it, in complete silence. And eventually the sun slid down beneath the horizon, and the stars came out- not many, but still some.   
  
"Well," Trisha said, out of the blue. "I expect she's out there right now, maybe. Rose, I mean. Zillions of miles out there somewhere."   
  
"Or here," Mickey said, "a million years ago. She could be standing where you are right now."   
  
Trisha shivered.   
  
"I..." she said, "I'm probably jealous. I _am_ jealous. But I expect...she'll never go for an red, yellow and orange sunset anymore, will she? It'll have to be purple or or bright green...she's lost three colours. That sounds stupid, but...you know."   
  
_And gained more than what she's lost, probably_ , Mickey filled in. He said, "If it was you, would you come back? At all?"   
  
"I'd see everything I wanted to see," she said, "and since time-travel is an option, I'd come straight back to the minute I left. I don't want my mum to worry, you see."   
  
Mickey thought, rather bitterly, about Jackie. "You know what?" he said. "I was there, so I remember...Rose...the first time she was asked, she said no. It wasn't until she learned about the time travel that she said yes."   
  
"So she got a second chance." Trisha said.   
  
"Yeah. She did."   
  
It was quiet then, and Mickey felt more guilty than he ever had in his life. Because he _liked_ her- he liked Trisha. Ever since she'd insisted on hanging around and asking questions- ever since she'd listened. But...   
  
He'd taken Rose for granted like you took your eyes or ears for granted, and then she'd gone. He'd been dumped. He hadn't even _realised_ , realised how much he loved her until days turned into weeks and weeks into months and she never came back...   
  
And he hadn't followed her, he hadn't said yes, it was his ultimate choice and he said no, and there was this horrible, horrible voice in the back of his head saying _Well, that's what you get- Rose doesn't love you anymore, you're stuck on Earth with nothing to do, nowhere to go, with a girl not as pretty as Rose who you told a lie to._  
  
He hated it.   
  
"I was thinking," Trisha said, "She's given everything up, almost- if she comes back she'll never have a moment of thinking _everything is perfect and there's nothing more I could want_. Can you imagine that? She gave up her _home_. Do you think she's in love with the Doctor?"   
  
That was so out of left field that Mickey just blinked. Then he said, "Yeah."   
  
"I thought so," Trisha said. "Because you don't give it up...your normal life and all that...for someone you don't love."   
  
"Yeah," Mickey said quietly.   
  
"Sorry," Trisha added.   
  
_Everything is perfect and there's nothing more I could want_. Did Rose think that while standing on an alien planet with the Doctor, looking out at the night sky? Did she think that while she was on Earth millions of years ago, watching the Ice Age, freezing all over but utterly in love? Did she think that while watching ancient wars rage, knowing she was going to survive? Did she think that, ever, when she was _here_?   
  
"You've got nothing to be sorry for," he said. But he was sorry. _Sorry you're not Rose. Sorry I'm not the Doctor. Whatever._  
  
"Maybe not," she said. "Maybe, um...maybe...let's see each other tomorrow."   
  
"Yeah," he said, practically hating himself. He was going to end up hurting her eventually, no matter what happened. "Come on, then."   
  
And he took her hand.


	6. The Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for various unpleasant slurs, as Jimmy Stone is a horrible bloke

When she was fourteen years old, Shareen Costello had done a bungee jump for charity. To this day it was the scariest thing she'd ever done: she had stood at the very top, staring down at the small crowd of people, and _known_ she was absolutely not going to do this.   
  
So the cute assistant turned her head away. "Shareen, right?" he asked her. "Okay. Talk to me while we wait for you to be allowed down. What's your favourite movie, Shareen?"   
  
"Um," she said, still quite shaky. "I don't know. Don't really have one. Can't I just-"   
  
And he pushed her off.   
  
She fell screaming. She was convinced she would hit the ground and die. In three or four seconds she furiously hated the cute assistant, cursed herself for ever signing up for this-   
  
And she bounced back up again.   
  
She raised over fifty pounds for charity, and she was rather proud of herself- but she also figured that perhaps she had no reason to be, for she hadn't done any of it willingly.   
  
*  
  
It was over a month after Rose had left. Shareen had kept the answering machine message she'd left behind. It drove her crazy: Rose sounded so _happy_...   
  
_Hi, Shareen! I'm sorry we didn't really get to talk. But I'll be back soon- maybe in a few days, alright? Sometime soon. I can do that, you see- isn't it great? I'm going with the Doctor- you must have seen him at my place, he's fantastic, isn't he? He's going to show me the universe- I'm going to see all the stars! I'll bring you back something- maybe a bit of ice that never melts? The Doctor said they've got that all over the place, they're as common as seashells..._  
  
Ice that never melted. What the hell could you do with ice that never melted? You couldn't show it to anyone, because they'd demand to know _how come_ it was ice that didn't melt. They'd ask where it had come from...and Shareen wouldn't really know, only Rose would.   
  
If Rose offered her something, she'd just have to say no. No matter what it was. It wasn't like she wanted some sort of reminder of the fact that her best friend had gone off and left her, anyway.   
  
She hadn't even asked if Shareen wanted to come! And she _did_ \- she'd have loved to leave London and her job, and even her parents she could live without, and...all of it, she could live without _all_ of it. It wasn't fair.   
  
But she was stuck here.   
  
*  
  
The next day she received an email from Mickey- she had to go to the library to check her email, but it was free, thank god. She went every day, or the days when she had nothing better to do- she was supposed to be seeing Derek, after all, he took her out sometimes - but she didn't like him much, in truth.   
  
The email was relatively short:   
  
_do you remember the wedding of stuart &sarah hoskins...you know, the one where Rose's dad was killed? _  
  
Shireen couldn't help but flinch at those words. What on earth...?   
  
_we need photographs. we're asking the whole estate, me and Jackie. have you got any? could you ask your parents, or your friends?  
  
\--mickey _  
  
She closed the email crossly. What a bloody idiot, bringing Pete's death up again, Rose would be furious if she knew...   
  
But of course, she wouldn't know.   
  
Shareen left the library and walked the long way home. She went back to her flat; her parents weren't there. She watched TV, tidied her bedroom, felt horrendously bored...   
  
She looked for photographs. She tried all the drawers, but her parents generally threw photographs away. They threw virtually everything away- they were neat freaks. She was not.   
  
She eventually found a clump of old photos in the bookcase. She sorted through them: there were a couple of just her parents, a couple of her older sister, a couple of her when she when she younger, even a couple of her and Rose. But nothing of the wedding.   
  
She glared at the Rose photos. _This is all your fault. I would have LIKED to have gone with you, instead of staying here and pretending to do important things._  
  
*  
  
The next day she received a phone call. It came early in the morning, while she was still in bed. She groaned to herself: only one person was stupid enough to phone her that early in the morning.   
  
"Mickey, is that you? What the hell d'ya..."   
  
"It's me," said a girl's voice. Shareen sat up in bed, and wondered about throwing the phone against the wall. It was Trisha.   
  
"Oh, for God's sake, Trisha..."   
  
"Mickey just emailed me, and he said he was sorting out all the photos he'd received- I knew he'd emailed you, so I was wondering if you actually had any photos?"   
  
"No," Shareen said shortly. She waited to see if Trisha would hang up, but she didn't.   
  
"I, ur, I think maybe we should all talk, you know? Because Mickey thinks he's found something interesting."   
  
"Oh for god's sake, go away."   
  
She hung up. She go out of bed, had breakfast, watching morning TV, got washed and dressed, and...gave up and went to Mickey's house.   
  
*  
  
She rang the doorbell. Mickey let her in.   
  
"Did Trisha phone you?" he asked.   
  
"Yeah, she did."   
  
"I thought she would."   
  
Shareen walked through to the kitchen. "You got anything to drink?" she asked, in a attempt to make conversation.   
  
"No."   
  
She looked to see what he was doing: he had photographs spread out all over the front room's floor. He was sorting them out into piles.   
  
"What's that for?" she asked.   
  
"Have a look," he told her.   
  
She had a look. They were photographs of a wedding. Stuart and Sarah's wedding. She had a deep sense of foreboding all of a sudden. She ought to go home. This was stupid.   
  
"No, not those ones- those ones," Mickey said.   
  
She looked at the photos he was indicating. A black dragon creature, some sort of dark monster, stared back at her. She wrote that off as impossible, picked up the pile and flicked through all the pictures-   
  
It...no, _they_...they were in all the photos. Inside the church where the wedding had taken place, outside in the sky, leaping on people, _killing_ people...   
  
"That's not real!"   
  
"Looks real to me."   
  
"Don't be an idiot, it's just..." But words failed her. She was actually _frightened_ now. She hadn't been frightened for a while: she'd been angry and hurt and confused, but not frightened...   
  
"Look, you..."   
  
"Did you bring any photos?" he asked.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Didn't Trisha ask you? Ask you again?"   
  
"Oh, yeah. No. I couldn't find any. What the hell is going on, Mickey?" She stood up. "What the hell is in those photos?"   
  
"I don't know. It's probably not really important-"   
  
" _Not really important_?"   
  
"Have you been to the website lately?" he asked.   
  
"No. I haven't. And-"   
  
"We found a video of Jackie and Pete's wedding, and if you paused it you could see Rose and the Doctor in the background. I think she's gone back to meet him...meet her father. Since she never got to know him."   
  
Shareen stared.   
  
"For God's sake," she said, and began, inexplicably, to laugh. "You've really worked all this out..."   
  
"Well, it makes sense."   
  
"What's she doing at the day he died, then? Huh? If that's what you're saying."   
  
"I dunno. But that _doesn't_ make sense."   
  
*  
  
Shireen sat in the house for several minutes, doing nothing while Mickey sorted out the photos. He appeared to be putting them into three categories: ordinary-looking ones, ones featuring the Doctor and/or Rose, and ones featuring the dragon-things. Shareen was slowly getting angry: it was beginning to feel like something had been kept from her.   
  
Then the doorbell rang, and Mickey let Trisha in. Trisha looked at Shareen, and it was an odd sort of look.   
  
"I thought you weren't..."   
  
"Well, I am."   
  
Both Mickey and Trisha kneeled next to the photographs. Trisha picked some up and peered at them closely, and Shareen, irritated, stomped off to the kitchen. She looked around for something to eat, found nothing, and returned to the sofa. Mickey put the last photo on a pile, and gave a sigh.   
  
"You know what?"   
  
"What?" Trisha asked.   
  
"I think the Doctor killed Rose's dad."   
  
*  
  
They sat around Mickey's kitchen table. He handed out some cereal bars: apparently it was all he had.   
  
"Don't anyone tell Jackie, alright?" he said determinedly. "Don't you dare, alright, Shareen?"   
  
"I won't!" she said hotly. "If you don't trust me..."   
  
"I'm just checking."   
  
There was silence, apart from the sounds of Mickey eating. Trisha had refused any food.   
  
"How old were you in 1987, Shareen?" Mickey said, through his breakfast.   
  
"I was only a baby."   
  
"I was about four, I think...and I remember the day of the wedding," he said. "I mean, I remember Rose's dad dying. I mean..." He groaned. "I remember _something_. I remember my mum trying to talk to Jackie the next day."   
  
"What are we going to do?" Trisha spoke up suddenly.   
  
"I don't know," Mickey answered straightaway. "I think I'm going to scan these photos in- some of them, anyway, and put them on the website. Jackie doesn't have the Internet, so she won't see it. But I want to see if anyone has anything to say about it."   
  
"Like what?" Shareen asked.   
  
"You'd be surprised at the messages I get," he said. "I expect once I put that lot up, hundreds of people will say they saw flying dragons on that day, too."   
  
"Well, maybe they did-"   
  
"But why would they remember? You'd think someone would have mentioned it, right? 'I went to a wedding yesterday, it was great, except someone died and a load of flying dragons showed up', you know?"   
  
"Fine."   
  
"It must have been something the Doctor did. He must've brought them here."   
  
*  
  
Shareen went home, and spent the rest of the day doing nothing much. Derek didn't phone or anything. She wished Rose was here. They could go to the shops.   
  
_I think the Doctor killed Rose's dad..._  
  
Good lord, how had this happened? To her? It felt like she was missing out on some spectacular adventure, and the missing out hurt so much she wanted to run away, cover her ears and pretend everything was normal, but it didn't work like that.   
  
You needed faith, sometimes.   
  
So if the Doctor had killed Rose's dad, what were they supposed to do? Reach through time and space, bring Rose back and give her a stern talking to? No. They could do nothing. All they could ever do was wait. Wait for months and months, if necessary.   
  
It was so unfair.   
  
Especially since the only people she had to talk to now were Mickey and... _Trisha_. Trisha had nothing to do with anything. She was just a fat little girl, she didn't know Rose as anything but a co-worker, all this was _none of her business_...   
  
And yet she was hanging around with Mickey, understood what he was on about all the time...how had that happened? Why had her entire world just suddenly and freakishly changed? Mickey the slow, rather stupid best-mate's-boyfriend suddenly this _leader_? Trisha Delaney the shy girl suddenly talking back at her all the time?   
  
Her best friend suddenly abandoning her?   
  
Freakishly changed, for sure.   
  
*  
  
Two days later (one of those days she spent going ice skating with Derek, and discovered he found it funny to push people over on the ice) she returned to the library. There was nothing in her inbox, but she checked Mickey's website- it had been updated, and now had a nice new header saying _Did the Doctor KILL Rose's Dad in 1987_? The photographs were underneath, the black dragons clearly visible.   
  
She felt sick.   
  
"You don't want to be looking at that, dear,"   
  
Shareen looked up, it was one of the librarians.   
  
"Why not?" she asked neutrally.   
  
"A boy from one of the estates owns that, so I'm told- he murdered his girlfriend and invented that to try and take the blame off himself." She laughed. "Imagine! No-one bought it. Although the photos sometimes looked convincing, nothing a good artist couldn't do..." She continued in this vein while Shareen listened incredulously, and then said "But anyway. Lives right near here, that boy does, apparently- I'd be careful on the streets if I were you. _Some people_ -"   
  
"Yeah," Shareen said helplessly. "Yeah, of course."   
  
When she got home she checked the answering machine for messages; there were none. She slept on the sofa for a bit. Strange images went through her head: stained-glass windows hiding the dragons, the Doctor holding a baby-   
  
_GET AWAY FROM ROSE! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE?!_  
  
-a boy in a playpark all alone. It wasn't fair, all of this, why hadn't Rose considered she might want to come, she'd probably asked Mickey so why not her...and what was that ringing noise?   
  
She woke up. It was the phone.   
  
She went over and got it.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
"Shareen?" It was Mickey. "Guess what."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Jackie went to a friend's house today, and he happened to have the internet, so she went online and found the website and she knows." He gave a sigh. "That was so stupid of me. I shouldn't have posted it there at all. Anyway, she's round my house, really upset-"   
  
Shareen was caught between two feelings: _Leave me out of this, I like to do things on my own!_ and _Oh, you idiot- poor Jackie._  
  
"What do you want me to do?"   
  
"Can you talk to her? I can't do this on my own. That's the _point_ , Shareen- I could never do this on my own."   
  
"You got yourself into this," Shareen said, and hung up. Instantly she regretted it: Mickey had just told her something very important. He'd just...sort of...made her a part of all this, even though they were so helpless...since when had Mickey admitted to not being able to do things on his own?   
  
She hurriedly called him back, but the line was engaged. Annoyed, she decided to head for his flat herself. She went to the lobby to find her shoes, and then her mother came wandering in.   
  
"Shareen-" she said with a yawn. "God, what time is it?"   
  
"It's almost half-one," Shareen said. "I've gotta go out."   
  
"To where?"   
  
"Mickey Smith's house,"   
  
"No, Shareen- even if he's innocent, there's something about that boy I don't like..."   
  
"I don't care, Mum."   
  
She ran to his flat.   
  
*  
  
When she got there, Mickey wasn't there. Neither was Jackie. Cursing a little, she headed for Rose's flat instead. She still called it Rose's flat, even though she wasn't there anymore.   
  
She rang the doorbell and Mickey answered.   
  
"What're you doing here?"   
  
"I felt bad about Jackie-"   
  
"Well, you were a right bitch on the phone," At her expression, he hastily backtracked. "Okay, I saw your point-it's just..."   
  
"Are you going to let me in?"   
  
"Someone else is here."   
  
"Trisha, is it?"   
  
"No...Maggie Finch. Remember her, the woman who gave me the website? I phoned her, because she always said she wanted to talk to Jackie...and, well, that's what she's doing."   
  
"But Jackie doesn't know her!"   
  
"So?"   
  
So...nothing. Shareen walked past Mickey, and he let her go. She stood in the lobby and heard Jackie's voice.   
  
"It's just...I remember...she said she could easily be back in just ten seconds, and I waited for ten seconds, and she never came back."   
  
Shareen shifted towards the living room door.   
  
"And...god, I can't sleep at nights, I wake up wanting to kill that man..."   
  
"According to Mickey, and my late husband," came another woman's voice, "he's not actually a man. Just...looks like one." She gave a sad little laugh.   
  
"He's a transvestite?" Jackie said, confused.   
  
"No, an alien."   
  
"Oh. Well, I knew that. Saw the spaceship, didn't I?" Shareen could see her now, sitting on Mickey's sofa with her mascara running. "Big an'...sort of plant-looking. On the inside, I mean. Outside it's just a box."   
  
"I wish I could see it," Maggie said.   
  
"No you don't...he brings destruction, that man."   
  
Shareen had never pictured Jackie saying a word like 'destruction' She thought the same things about Jackie that everyone else did: she was well-meaning, but thick.   
  
She turned back to Mickey.   
  
"So where's _Trisha_ , then?"   
  
"She had to go out with her family. Her older brother- Rob, you know Rob- he showed up and said he was taking them out. She didn't want to go."   
  
Jackie looked up at them then. "Shareen? That you?"   
  
"Yeah...I..."   
  
"Came to talk to me?" Jackie asked. "You in on this as well, are you?"   
  
"In on what?"   
  
"Mickey's little detective agency."   
  
Shareen stared at Mickey, who shrugged.   
  
Maggie Finch glanced around the room, perhaps wondering if she'd overstayed her welcome, or pondering the sanity of these people. "Anyway, Jackie," she said softly, "Rose didn't leave because of you."   
  
"I know."   
  
"And she'll be back- I'm convinced of it. And I'm sure she'd hate it if you just sat around unhappy."   
  
Jackie sniffed loudly and then said, "Well- I met someone, you know. Very good looking, and I think he wants to get serious. Rodrigo, his name is..."   
  
Shareen went through to the kitchen, where Mickey now was.   
  
"That woman," she said, shaking her head. "She's so..."   
  
"Who?" Mickey said, looking up. "Maggie? Jackie? Who're you talking about?"   
  
"Jackie, of course."   
  
"Oh. Well."   
  
She sensed he was trying not to yell at her.   
  
"How come you run around after Jackie all the time?" she asked. "She's a grown woman, she can look after herself."   
  
"Her daughter went missing for a year," Mickey said shortly. "How'd you like it if that happened to you?"   
  
"I'm not having kids."   
  
"You know what I mean."   
  
She had no idea what he meant, and thought he was being a bit of a prat. She looked around the kitchen- it looked slightly different now. Different to how it had been when Rose was there. Dirtier. Jackie wasn't going to win any prizes for having a clean house, after all.   
  
"Maybe we should clean the kitchen," she said.   
  
"Nah, don't bother," said Jackie. She had appeared in the doorway all of a sudden. Maggie was in the living room behind her, putting on her coat. "It'll just get messy again."   
  
"Maggie," Mickey called, "Don't you want to stay and-" He realised then, too late, that it wasn't his house. Jackie rolled her eyes at him.   
  
"Act like you own the place! Maggie, would you like to stay for...coffee or something?"   
  
"Okay," Maggie said. "Yes please."   
  
*  
  
They sat around the table and drank coffee. Aside from Shareen, who had nothing. She wanted to ask for a beer, but something told her that wouldn't be a good move. She had images of Mickey marching into the house, taking every last drop of alcohol away, and then...maybe giving it to his mates or something.   
  
Presumably Mickey still had mates. Well, he had siblings, half-siblings, she was fairly sure- although they'd all gotten out of London by now. Maybe it was just her, Trisha, Jackie and Maggie Mickey had to talk to.   
  
She herself had considered him a murderer. Mostly. She'd thought _Rose, you're not a good judge of character, you dated a psychopath again, you really did it this time- Rose, I want you back! How could you have been so stupid? Forgetting all the advice you were ever given..._  
  
Then Rose had come back. They'd all been wrong.   
  
Then Rose had gone away again.   
  
"Shareen," Mickey said.   
  
"Urrmmmm....yeah, what?"   
  
"There's a biscuit tin just behind you, could you pass it over?"   
  
Shareen did so. Biscuits were offered round, she took one. The conversation turned to Maggie, as Jackie asked her questions.   
  
"Where do you work, then?"   
  
"In ICT," Maggie said, cradling her cup of coffee. "The place where Clive used to work...they said they'd employ me." Shareen noticed her eyes whenever she mentioned her husband; there was an awful lot of grief there.   
  
"Ooh, that's nice," Jackie said, oblivious. "I'm thinking of getting a job at one of the cafes, maybe, Rodrigo said he might be able to find me something..."   
  
Shareen, who hadn't been employed for ages, said nothing. Maggie's gaze fell on her.   
  
"Shareen...ah, you were Rose's best friend."   
  
"Yeah," Shareen said, wondering about the _were_.   
  
"Mickey told me a bit about you."   
  
"What sort of things?"   
  
"Oh, good things, don't worry about that." She cast a glance at Mickey, then looked at her watch. "I ought to be getting back, I'm afraid- I need to do some shopping, and pick Thomas up from school. It was nice talking to you all."   
  
"Yeah," Jackie said, "Thanks for comin' over..."   
  
Mickey climbed off his chair and walked with Maggie to the door. It struck Shareen how wrong this seemed to her: a woman Rose didn't know in Rose's house, talking to her mother about her- Shareen herself in Rose's house without Rose there, talking to Rose's boyfriend-   
  
But Rose had been the one who'd left. If she'd stayed, what would they all be doing now?   
  
*  
  
After Maggie had left, Mickey sat down again, and finished his coffee.   
  
"She's nice, isn't she?" he said to everyone in general.   
  
Jackie nodded. "What I want to know is- didn't want to ask her, might upset her- where was the Doctor when her husband was getting shot?"   
  
Mickey looked uncomfortable, and said, "He was with Rose, I reckon- looking for that alien thing."   
  
Jackie nodded, and Shareen thought she might cry again. "Not fair, is it?" Jackie murmured. "Nice lady- she didn't deserve that-"   
  
"No," Mickey said.   
  
"-and she had a kid and all." She gave a sigh- it didn't sound like Jackie then, not the Jackie Shareen knew, who was as selfish as them all- and finished her coffee.   
  
"Maybe I'd better go now," Shareen said. "I've got...things to do." That was an obvious lie, but they let her go.   
  
*  
  
On the way home she ran into two people who she really, really, really didn't want to see. One of them was an ex-boyfriend of Rose's. His name was Jimmy Stone: he was attractive but an utter prick- those were the precise words Rose had used to describe him after she returned from his house sobbing her eyes out. Shareen had never forgiven him for breaking Rose's heart, and she was sure she never would; since coming back to London he'd done little to redeem himself. With him was his girlfriend, Alex, who was best described as an emptyheaded blonde.   
  
"Oi, Shareen!" Jimmy called, and she walked over to him, hoping for an argument. "Did Rose really go off with a forty-year-old?"   
  
_He's not forty_ , Shareen thought crossly, but she said, "Yeah."   
  
"Holy shit. Hey, have you met Alex?"   
  
"Yeah," Alex said in a bored tone, before Shareen could say anything. "We were in the same English class."   
  
"Oh yeah," Jimmy looked at Shareen. "Hey, you want to come down the pub with us? I'd ask Rose, but, well, she's not here." He gave a smile that he probably imagined was charming, but made Shareen's stomach turn.   
  
"No,"   
  
His manner changed instantly. "No, _what_?"   
  
"No, you fuckhead."   
  
Alex gave a cackling laugh, and Jimmy rounded on her. "Shut up!" And to Shareen: "It's no, _thank you_ , you bitch."   
  
"Whatever."   
  
Jimmy stormed off, Alex wandering next to him. Irritated, Shareen headed home.   
  
*  
  
Her mother was slumped on the sofa when she got in. Shareen sat down next to her and watched TV for almost two hours. There were a great amount of reality shows to choose from. Eventually, her mother got up and went to the kitchen.   
  
"Shareen," she yelled, "Could you go out and get more bread?"   
  
"I just got in! Why can't you go?"   
  
"'Cos I'm sick, Shareen!"   
  
She probably wasn't, of course, but there was nothing on the telly and she had to walk to keep fit. She got off the sofa and found her shoes.   
  
"Just bread, right?"   
  
"Yeah. Unless you want some chocolates or something. They were doing two-for-one offers on them last time I was there."   
  
So Shareen went to the shop- it wasn't far away. She got some bread, and went back, purposely moving slowly. Maybe she should give Derek a ring tonight.   
  
Maybe she should give Mickey a ring.   
  
She wandered through the park, kicking at stones on the ground, and then she saw Trisha. She didn't recognize her at first, for some reason, but it was her. She spotted Shareen almost at the same time Shareen spotted her, and she raced over to her.   
  
"Shareen!" she said breathlessly. "Have you seen Rob anywhere?"   
  
"What, your brother? No."   
  
"He and Mum had a fight- he ran off," she said. "Mum sent me out to look for him, and I...I dunno where he could be."   
  
Shareen looked at her; she seemed rather upset. "Do you want help?" she asked, without really meaning to. Although somewhere in the back of her mind, she _must_ have meant to.   
  
"Yeah," Trisha said. "Yeah- thanks."   
  
"I remember your brother- I bet I know where he is, anyway."   
  
They started walking.   
  
"Where?" Trisha asked.   
  
"The local pub, of course."   
  
"Oh."   
  
Shareen headed in that direction, Trisha walking along behind her. She figured it would be a good idea to text her mother telling her where she was: she'd become a lot more sensitive about that sort of thing since Rose vanished for the first time.   
  
"I hope he's there," Trisha said nervously. "Things were really mad...he was...he took us out for lunch, you see, but him and Mum started yelling when we got back, it was pretty nasty..."   
  
Shareen had witnessed members of her own family yelling at each other many, many times, and figured she could sympathize.   
  
They reached the pub. Shareen wondered suddenly if it was the same one Jimmy and Alex had gone to- it was the only one in the area. Trisha hurried inside.   
  
"There he is," she said. "Thank God. Thanks, Shareen. I'd better go talk to him."   
  
She dashed over to him, and Shareen turned to go- but then felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around. It was Jimmy- a drunk Jimmy.   
  
"Wanted to see me after all, did you?" he said, stinking of alcohol.   
  
"No. I don't like you. Go away."   
  
But he didn't. And he didn't let go of her shoulder, either.   
  
"Why don't you like me? Just because I dumped Rose?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"I said sorry for that, yeah? Alex has gone out to top up her mobile, come and have a drink with me."   
  
"Fuck _off_."   
  
"Don't you tell me to-"   
  
There was suddenly a yell from the other side of the bar.   
  
"Fine then- I'll apologize to that tart! But I won't mean a fucking word of it, understand? Be grateful."   
  
And Rob Delaney stumbled out of the bar, his sister following him almost in tears. Shareen shook Jimmy off her and hurriedly grabbed Trisha.   
  
"He's not worth it, alright?"   
  
"I know," she said glumly. "But he's my brother...and he'll just make her cry again."   
  
"He's a prat. We could go to another pub, have a drink or something-" She shot a look at Jimmy as she said this, and that seemed, for some reason, to really annoy him.   
  
"You're a right stuck-up cow, you are, Shareen. Just like Rose."   
  
"Shut up, dickhead."   
  
Trisha looked anxious, and moved to leave, but then Jimmy spotted her as well.   
  
"Oh, hi there, Trish- your brother was being well polite about you just now."   
  
Trisha said nothing, so Shareen felt obliged to speak up. "Leave her alone- she's upset. Come on, Trisha, let's go."   
  
They got out of the bar, Trisha looking downcast, and headed off in the other direction.   
  
"I hate people like that guy," Trisha said out of the blue.   
  
"Who, Jimmy?"   
  
"Yeah- I hate Jimmy."   
  
"Oh."   
  
They walked on.   
  
"Actually, I'd rather not go to a bar," Trisha said. "I'd rather just go home. If that's alright."   
  
"Yeah," Shareen said. "I'll go home, too- my mum will ring me up any time now."   
  
So they turned around and headed for home- and then Shareen spotted someone. Jimmy, to be exact, wandering drunkenly along the pavement.   
  
It was beginning to get dark by now. She cursed mentally and wondered what to do. Jimmy came up to them,   
  
"All right?" he said.   
  
"Jimmy, you're drunk," Shareen said coldly.   
  
He ignored this. "I think Alex is gonna leave me."   
  
"Don't blame her."   
  
"See, you are a fucking cow."   
  
And then Trisha spoke up for the first time. "Could you leave her alone, please?"   
  
Jimmy stared at her as if he'd never seen her before. " _Please_? Ha. Fuck off. Where the fuck are you two going?"   
  
"Home." Shareen said.   
  
"I thought you'd be off with Mickey Smith...ha ha...fucking about with him...one of my mates saw you and him at the cinema the other day, _Trisha_..."   
  
"It was a friends thing," Trisha said nervously.   
  
"My arse it was. I didn't think you were his type. I thought Shareen was more his type...or Rose, that little slag..."   
  
At that, Shareen decided she couldn't stand him anymore. She smacked him round the face, hard as she could, as if he was the embodiment of everything that frustrated her.   
  
And she regretted it instantly.   
  
Jimmy staggered backwards. "Fuck, man!" he said. And then, as Shareen readied herself to run, "I'm gonna _get_ you for that!"   
  
So Shareen ran. And Trisha ran too, in the same direction as Shareen, clearly somewhat freaking out. She hoped Jimmy would just give up and wander home, but he wasn't going to. _Damn_.   
  
They kept running. Shareen wondered, in a detached sort of way, what would happen if Rose was by her side instead of Trisha.   
  
She saw some stairs leading up to a balcony.   
  
"Up here!" she yelled. She leaped up the stairs two at a time, and Trisha followed. They got to the top and Shareen realised how stupid she was: there was no way down other than the way they'd just come. The balcony went all the way around the building- the building was an abandoned chip shop- but there was only one flight of stairs.   
  
And Jimmy was down below.   
  
" _You fucking bitch! Who the fuck gives you the right to hit me_?"   
  
Shareen raced around to the other side of the balcony.   
  
"Come back here, you-"   
  
Trisha hurried around to join Shireen.   
  
" _Stupid fucking fat dyke_!"   
  
Shareen glanced over the balcony. "Trisha-"   
  
Trisha gave a whimper.   
  
"Trisha, you can jump from here, alright? You'll hit the hedge down there, it won't kill you. Can you jump?"   
  
"NO!"   
  
There were noises on the stairs. He was coming. Shareen had heard all this before: boys went out and got drunk, got into a fight, got their pride wounded, chased down their offender and killed an innocent bystander instead... was Jimmy the type to carry a knife? Probably.   
  
"Trisha," she said. "Just jump. I'll come with you, seeing as this was pretty much my fault."   
  
Trisha said nothing, but Shareen knew she wouldn't jump. Not off a balcony in the dark- she was always one of those smart, careful, uptight people. But then again, Shareen was nothing like Trisha, and she'd never jumped either.   
  
"Trisha!" she demanded. "What's your favourite movie?"   
  
"Um... _Titanic_. Or _Beauty and the Beast_. Why on earth-"   
  
Shareen pushed her off. She heard her scream, hit the hedge, and roll off onto the ground, bruised but hopefully unharmed. Jimmy Stone came racing round the corner.   
  
"You bastard," she said, and jumped as well. She landed next to Trisha. Jimmy Stone gave a yell of rage and threw his bottle down at her. It missed them both.   
  
"Jimmy!" came Alex's voice, all of a sudden. "Jimmy, what the fuck are you doing, you're gonna get someone killed!"   
  
"That fucking bitch, she..."   
  
Shareen heard no more of that. Relief flooded through her. She never thought she'd see the day when she was glad to hear Alex, but then again she'd never thought she'd see the day where she and Trisha Delaney escaped a crazed Jimmy Stone by jumping off a balcony in the dark.   
  
Jimmy appeared to have gone away. Trisha was standing up shakily.   
  
"Oh my god," she said. And then, "And...Rose _dated_ him? That...that psychopathic..."   
  
"He's only like that when he's drunk," Shareen said, rising to her feet. "Alex'll take care of him. Let's go."   
  
They started walking in the dark, breathing in the coldness. The street-lights flickered up ahead.   
  
"I guess that's me out of the running for time traveler, then," Trisha said.   
  
"What are you on about?"   
  
"It was only a drunk lunatic, and I almost collapsed with terror."   
  
"God. Jimmy Stone is scarier than any aliens I can imagine."   
  
They gradually walked faster. Shareen checked her watch; it was five past eleven.   
  
"Your mum's gonna be worried."   
  
"No, she won't be."   
  
They reached Trisha's flat.   
  
"Bye, then," Shareen said, and hurriedly left her there. Heading back to her flat, her phone rang.   
  
"Shareen!" her mother called. "Where are you? You said you were going down the pub! Where's my bread?"   
  
And of course, in all the chaos she'd lost it. "Sorry, mum," she said. "It might have to wait."   
  
"Shareen!"   
  
"Sorry. Back in a second." She hung up the phone and went home.   
  
*  
  
Next day, while she was still in bed, the phone rang. It was Trisha.   
  
"I wanted to say thanks," she said nervously. "For pushing me off the balcony. Forgot to say that last night."   
  
"S'alright."   
  
"Yeah...just wanted to say...thanks. Although I'd rather you never did it again."   
  
"Yeah. Now I want to get back to bed, alright? Goodbye." She was careful to not sound cruel.   
  
"Alright. Bye."   
  
"Bye." She hung up the phone.   
  
The world -or her world at least- had changed, that was for sure.


	7. Mother's Day

_Jackie avoided looking around the room she was in: it would make her cry again. She looked only at the carpet, which was blue.  
  
"Anything else?" the man asked gently. "What would she have been wearing?"   
  
"I...can't remember...pink hoodie, maybe..." She shook her head then. "No...her purple jacket, I think, and jeans..."   
  
The man nodded and made a note of it.   
  
"Okay," he said, and just that was enough to make Jackie cry again. The man waited until she'd finished and spoke again gently.   
  
"Don't give up hope, Mrs Tyler," he said. "Only the other day some kid on the other side of the country went missing for a week, and then they found him safe and well with a girl in a flat. So..." He trailed off, and winced. "We'll do all we can."   
  
"Thank you." But she knew, somehow, that her daughter wouldn't be coming back. It was just a feeling in the back of her mind, and it was making her give up hope.   
  
She got up from her seat, said goodbye to the policeman, and went outside. She wanted a cigarette, but she'd been trying to give up smoking- Rose had insisted- and now she didn't have any. She leaned against the wall, and nobody looked at her.   
  
Her mobile phone rang. She didn't realise it was hers at first. She fished in her bag and picked it up.   
  
"Hello?" she said, keeping her voice steady.   
  
"Mrs Tyler?" said the voice on the other end. "I'm afraid Alison is having a relapse of sorts. It's nothing to get worried about, but she certainly seems a little...off. She says she'd like you to visit, sometime soon..."_   
  
*  
  
The doorbell rang. Jackie considered not opening it, but eventually dragged herself to the door. It was Mickey. He was carrying a cardboard box.   
  
"I've got this for you!" he said triumphantly. "It was really cheap, but it works. I can help you set it up...it's got a modem and everything..." He then noticed she was still in her dressing gown, and trailed off.   
  
"Jackie, it's midday..."   
  
"I know," she said sullenly.   
  
"But I've bought you a computer..."   
  
"I just got a phone call," she said. "Me mum is getting worse."   
  
Mickey looked blank.   
  
"Rose's grandmother. Alison. Me _mum_. Remember her?"   
  
"Oh yeah...I think I met her once."   
  
"Yeah, years ago. She's different now," Jackie gave a snort. "And they're saying she's dying."   
  
"Oh, Jackie..."   
  
"I knew she was on her way out," Jackie said glumly. "Knew it was coming. Just wish Rose was here...she'd have liked to see Rose..." She glanced at Mickey as she said this; his expression was unreadable.   
  
"Are you going to see her?" he said carefully.   
  
"I suppose I'd better," She wandered to her bedroom in a daze.   
  
*  
  
When she came out, dressed more properly this time, Mickey was still there. He had unpacked the computer and was setting it up.   
  
"I can go with you," he said. "If you want."   
  
Jackie thought about it. The white corridors, Alison's black eyes...the story of the bad wolf.   
  
"Yeah, okay." she said quickly. "You come."   
  
*  
  
Mickey drove her there, even though it wasn't very far.   
  
"Are you sure you want me to come in?" he asked nervously. "I mean, you'd probably rather it was just her and you..."   
  
"No," Jackie said firmly, and that was all she said. She felt a little bit sick, and wished Rose was here.   
  
_She's run away with the big bad wolf, he wants to keep her now, you'll be lucky to see her again, you should have told your mother-_  
  
She shook her thoughts out of her head. Rose had gone, but she was here, and she had to deal with that now.   
  
"How come she calls herself Alison Darkwood?" Mickey asked all of a sudden.   
  
"What?"   
  
"'Cause that's not your maiden name, but it's what she calls herself..."   
  
"She changed back to her old name when my dad left her." Jackie said shortly.   
  
"Oh...I didn't know about..."   
  
"It's not important, Mickey. It's not important at all."   
  
*  
  
They went through the corridors to reception. They went through all the various motions: giving their names and being given sad glances.   
  
"Is Mickey allowed in with me?" Jackie asked. "He's a friend of the family."   
  
"All right," said one of the nurses. But she gave him a funny look: maybe she'd seen his picture somewhere, in the paper- still, he'd done nothing wrong, had he?   
  
More corridors, and then they were shown into Alison's room.   
  
"Alison," the nurse said gently, "you have visitors."   
  
Alison opened one eye, and Jackie could only stare at her. _My God, she looks sick._  
  
"Where's Rose?" Alison asked.   
  
That was what did it...made her want to run home. But she knew she couldn't. "Rose isn't here, Mum. But I've brought Mickey."   
  
"Rose is never here," Alison said, as the nurse excused herself, leaving them alone. "Is she still in France?"   
  
"No, Mum. She's left."   
  
"Is she not talking to you?"   
  
"No, Mum," Jackie said, feeling close to tears. "She's not talking to me."   
  
"Pity," Alison said darkly. Then her gaze went to Mickey. "And you. You're back, then. I remember you."   
  
"Yeah," Mickey said, trying to look away. "Yeah...hi, Ms Darkwood..."   
  
"Is Rose talking to you?"   
  
"No...I don't think so."   
  
Alison went motionless, although her eyes were still open. "Seems to have abandoned you entirely,"   
  
"Yes," Jackie said, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Mickey looking at her worriedly. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Mum. I know you'd have wanted her here."   
  
"If she doesn't want to be here," Alison said, her speech slow and tired, "then let her be," She looked exhausted, like talking was too much for her. Jackie moved forward.   
  
"Mum, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry..." She tried to take her hand, but Alison jerked her hand away with what was probably the last of her strength, and Jackie felt like her heart had broken. She couldn't help but start to cry.   
  
"Jackie," Mickey said quickly.   
  
"No," she said hopelessly. "Mum..."   
  
"Don't cry, Jacqueline," Alison said dreamily. "It'll be alright. Rose'll be back."   
  
"How do you know?" Jackie cried.   
  
"I'm your mother."   
  
Jackie thought. She remembered their last meeting: _She's run away with the big bad wolf._  
  
There was truth in that.   
  
She remembered their last meeting- every little detail of it. She remembered her husband, her friends, her ordinary life, her daughter, everything she took for granted- and suddenly felt a hatred that overwhelmed her.   
  
"I'm sorry too, by the way, Jackie," Alison said, breathing heavily.   
  
Jackie went cold.   
  
"Mickey, get the nurse," she said in a voice that sounded nothing like hers. He ran for the door, pulled it open, and was gone. The door slammed shut on its own.   
  
Jackie looked around the room, but not at Alison. Her mind seemed to have frozen in place.   
  
_...things are about to get dark..._  
  
Oh, it wasn't fair, but she had to hold on.   
  
The door swung open again, and Mickey was there with a nurse, a different one this time. The nurse took in the situation.   
  
"You'd better get out, love," she said to Jackie.   
  
Jackie almost ran out of the door, and Mickey went with her.   
  
*  
  
Five minutes later, and Jackie already knew what had happened. The nurse, and a few doctors who had turned up later, exited the room.   
  
"I'm so sorry," the nurse said, going to Jackie. "Do you want to go in and say goodbye?"   
  
"No," Jackie said, surprising herself. "No, thank you."   
  
The nurse nodded slowly, and walked away. Mickey let out a breath.   
  
"I think you should go in there," he said.   
  
"No," Jackie said again. "Just...no."   
  
There was a long, long silence.   
  
"Let's go outside," Mickey said, and he took her arm and led her- almost dragged her. She just went along with it, feeling like she was drugged. He took her through the nearest door, to a bench. They were in a small garden, clean and litter-free except for one solitary crisp packet on the floor.   
  
Jackie sat down. Disconnected thoughts ran through her mind: _Shit I'm getting really fat, what would Rose say, what would Mum say...when Rose comes back how do I tell her, will she even care...I don't want to have to make funeral arrangements...I must look really hideous at the moment. I think I always looked really hideous. Too old, too fat, and too unhappy right now. Don't let me cry on top of all of that..._  
  
"I can tell Rose," Mickey said. "Unless you want to."   
  
"Maybe it'll make her come home," Jackie said, and burst into tears. She tried desperately to stop, but she couldn't. It hurt to cry, it really did...it _hurt_. She felt like she'd be sick, collapse, die right where she was sitting. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't _fucking fair_.   
  
Mickey patted her arm awkwardly.   
  
"Stop it," she said, and hugged herself. It was really cold out here... _why_? It hadn't been this cold in the morning.   
  
_Maybe it'll make her come home_. Anyone eavesdropping would think Jackie's daughter had run off with her boyfriend, gone abroad, was keeping away from a mother she hated...but she wasn't...she was out with a strange man, strange thing, running into danger, saving the world...   
  
"I _hate him_ ," she said suddenly and furiously.   
  
"What?"   
  
"I hate him. I hate the Doctor. He took Rose away."   
  
"Jackie," Mickey said worriedly, "Jackie, that's not going to..."   
  
"He's _ruined my life_!"   
  
Mickey said nothing, then. He just let her cry. He rummaged in his pocket for a tissue, and then groaned and stood up.   
  
"Let's go find some tissues for you."   
  
"No. I'm fine. Stay here."   
  
"You're not _fine_."   
  
"Sit down, for God's sake!"   
  
He sat down, and waited in agonizing silence while she sobbed. He looked furious, although with who or what she couldn't be sure. Eventually she ceased to cry, more for his sake than for hers.   
  
"I'm sorry," she said, and knew she sounded like a child.   
  
"No, you're allowed to cry," he said, and stood up as if desperate to go away. They walked back inside in silence, and one of the nurses was waiting.   
  
"Mrs Tyler?" she said nervously. "I'm very sorry." She handed a leaflet of some sort to Jackie, and hastily went away. Jackie looked at it. _Suffered a recent loss_? it said. _We can help. Just call..._  
  
Jackie put it in her pocket, irritated. That was good. She could deal with irritation.   
  
"Let's go," she said to Mickey.   
  
*  
  
So they went, Mickey in the driver's seat again.   
  
Jackie did not cry.   
  
"She was...she was always acting funny...said weird things..."   
  
"Mmmmm."   
  
"And she was really sick. I mean...being around, her being around any longer...it wasn't going to happen, I should have guessed..."   
  
"Jackie," Mickey said.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Do you really hate the Doctor, or were you just saying that?"   
  
Jackie could think of nothing to say. Her mind had gone horribly blank again.   
  
"I..."   
  
"Just asking."   
  
"No, you _weren't_ just asking...I dunno, Mickey."   
  
"What d'ya mean by that?"   
  
"I _dunno_. I don't care. An' I don't suppose if he cares if I hate him. I just want him to bring her back, _safe_ ," She felt tears in the back of her eyes again. "An'...I dunno if he will...he _wants_ her, you know? Wanted her. I mean, he might figure she can come back anytime, but she won't, or...or...she might come back two years ago, and...I wouldn't know or anything..." Oh, she was making no sense. But the world made no sense either, and it was the world's fault. "He doesn't care about me, whether I want my daughter back or not. The whole _world_ , Mickey..." And she was really crying now. "The entire world, five billion people, all of them alive because of him...an' he didn't think that I might not want her to go..." She put her head in her hands. Mickey's eyes kept sliding from the windscreen to her.   
  
"She chose," he said in a very small voice.   
  
"I know."   
  
There was a great deal more to say, of course, but neither of them said it. They reached the horrible empty flat, went in, and sat down.   
  
"I want something to drink," Jackie said, purposely toneless.   
  
"Water," Mickey said.   
  
"Alright."   
  
He got her some water. Jackie drank it without a word. It was funny to think that this morning her mother had still been alive. Funny and pretty horrible.   
  
Mickey stared fixedly at a picture of Rose on the mantlepiece. "Maybe you should get some food, too, Jackie."   
  
"I'm not hungry."   
  
"I can get you some chips."   
  
"I don't want chips, I'm sick of them. I don't want _anything_ , Mickey, alright?"   
  
He said nothing. He just got up and went to the fridge. "There's a salad in here," he said. "Looks about two weeks old. And some yoghurt."   
  
"Mickey," Jackie said, and she sounded like a ten-year-old again...not a grown woman who had once had a daughter.   
  
"What?"   
  
"I don't want to stay here in the flat on my own. I hate it. I hate staying here in the dark every night with nothing to do except watch TV. I _hate_ it."   
  
Mickey goggled at her, then said, "You've got that bloke of yours, Rodrigo- invite him round."   
  
"Eh? He doesn't want it that way. He wants some time, he said."   
  
"Not...oh, for God's sake, Jackie, you're hopeless."   
  
"Don't I know it." The word _hopeless_ threatened to make her cry again. She didn't hear it like how Mickey had meant it: it meant _you have no hope_. She had very little right now. "I don't want some bloke! I mean, I like him and all, but I want Rose back. That's what I meant- she was always there, in the house- most nights, anyway- and now she's gone and you can't even _hear_ her."   
  
Mickey looked away, unable to hold her gaze. He looked at another one of the pictures- a family shot of Jackie, Pete and their new baby- and Jackie saw.   
  
"It's not fair."   
  
"Life's not fair."   
  
"I wish people would stop saying that. All the bloody time. Like it's an excuse or something."   
  
"It's not an excuse."   
  
"It sounds like something _he_ might say."   
  
Mickey flinched. "No," he said carefully. "I don't think so."   
  
Jackie leaned back on the sofa, very tired all of a sudden. Surely today had been one of the worst days of her life? And the worst thing about it was that it _wasn't_ the worst.   
  
"Doesn't matter anyway," she muttered. "You can go if you want, Mickey."   
  
"I don't think you ought to stay here alone."   
  
"Don't you trust me?"   
  
"No."   
  
Jackie considered that, and didn't like what she came up with. But she couldn't quite bring herself to care. "You go. I'll be all right," she said. "And thank you, Mickey."   
  
*  
  
The funeral took place a few weeks later.   
  
Jackie met Mickey at the church. There was a girl with him- a plump brunette girl, dressed in black- and it took Jackie a few seconds to remember who she was. It was odd, and not nice, to see Mickey with another girl.   
  
Although he had to get on with his life, presumably.   
  
"I'm sorry, Mrs Tyler," Trisha said nervously. She was wearing a dress similar to Jackie's- maybe they shopped at the same place. She extended her hand, and Jackie shook it.   
  
Shareen was also at the church- one of a very small number of attendees. She was also wearing black- Jackie had wondered, briefly, in the back of her mind, if she'd just show up wearing ripped jeans- but she had a black dress instead. It looked like it'd been at the back of the wardrobe for years and dug out specially for this occasion. Jackie appreciated it all the same.   
  
*  
  
When the funeral was over- Jackie had prepared a short speech, and it _had_ been short- just a few minutes of talking about how Alison would have appreciated everyone turning up- everyone gathered outside. Jackie observed them all. Mickey, in his black suit, just looked thoughtful; Trisha looked nervous again; Shareen looked decidedly unhappy.   
  
Mickey came to her. "Hey, Jackie."   
  
"Hey," she said quietly.   
  
Mickey looked around, clearly not sure what to say. "Rodrigo turn up, then?" he asked at last.   
  
"He doesn't like funerals."   
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Says it's too short a time since 'e was at his son's funeral...committed suicide, you see."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"I don't like funerals, either." Shareen said flatly.   
  
And none of them said much more.   
  
"There'll be food at my house, if anyone wants it," Jackie said. "Not much, mind. And not a proper party. Just food."   
  
There were various mumblings of 'yeah' and 'okay'. A couple of other people nodded their agreement, too- they weren't anyone Jackie knew very well. A woman from the estate who Jackie had considered a friend a while ago, but had drifted off after Rose had gone missing (didn't people do that much too often?)- her name was Beth, and an old friend of Alison's.   
  
They headed off to the flat. Jackie didn't feel like making conversation, so she listened to the others instead.   
  
"Is this- was that the church were...you know?" she heard Trisha whisper to Mickey.   
  
"Yes," Mickey said, "It was," And he cast a glance at the playpark as they were going past.   
  
*  
  
At the flat, everyone sat around awkwardly.   
  
"So," Beth spoke up, "Jackie...I read in the paper..."   
  
"Rose came back. She went traveling." Jackie said, more sharply than she intended. Beth flinched.   
  
"Does anyone want chocolate fingers?" Mickey said. He had taken a box of them from one of the cupboards. Jackie felt stupid of a sudden, like she was hosting a kid's party.   
  
Alison's friend (her name was Jill, Jackie had remembered) took one, and so did Shareen. The others merely huddled on the sofa, Mickey and Trisha in particular. Jackie still thought they looked wrong together.   
  
It took a while for people to start talking.   
  
"Are you going to be alright, Jackie?" Mickey asked her quietly.   
  
"You keep asking me that," she answered. "I...I dunno, I'll invite Rodrigo around."   
  
"Ooh, I know him," Beth said. She was quite perky now. Nothing like food after a funeral to lighten the mood. "He used to work next door to my nail place...gorgeous, isn't he?"   
  
"Yeah," Jackie said, ice dripping off her voice. Mickey almost smiled at that.   
  
"I heard about his son, though...awful, isn't it?"   
  
"Yeah," And whatever happiness she had felt in the past few minutes vanished without trace. "People shouldn't lose their kids."   
  
Beth looked uncomfortable, and said. "Jackie...Rose, ur..."   
  
"She's fine," Jackie said cooly. "Off enjoying herself." Oh, this was breaking her heart, but she couldn't cry in front of near-strangers. Beth shot a look at Mickey- he just met her gaze.   
  
"Mind you," she said, clearly desperate to salvage the conversation, "he likes his truck better than he likes women."   
  
Jackie had not yet heard of his truck fixation- if she was honest, she didn't know the man at all. "That's nice."   
  
"Used to drive them. He keeps one in his garage. Calls it Susan."   
  
Jackie wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. "Mmmm, yeah."   
  
"In fact, I'd be careful of him if I were you...he's a bit...well...they say he's not too nice."   
  
Jackie didn't care. "Whatever," she muttered.   
  
"I'm gonna go," Shareen said, shooting to her feet. "I...well, I'll see you all around, alright?"   
  
"Alright," Mickey and Trisha chorused.   
  
"I...er...thanks for the food, Jackie, and I'm sorry." She fled. Barely a minute after the door had closed, Jill also stood up.   
  
"It's about time I left- thank you so much for the food, dear, Alison would be very proud of you-" She had eaten by far the most of any of them. Jackie shook hands with her, and wondered if the last thing she'd said was true. Quite possibly not.   
  
But hell- she didn't know.   
  
Beth, Mickey and Trisha sat on opposite sofas, all of them looking thoroughly uncomfortable.   
  
"So...are you two dating?" Beth finally asked cheerfully.   
  
"Sort of," Mickey said, at the same time Trisha said, "Er." They looked at each other. Beth grinned. Jackie decided that that was _it_. She frantically mimed at Mickey from behind Beth.   
  
"It's time I left," Mickey said promptly, proving his acting skills. "You coming, Trish?"   
  
"Yeah," Trisha said. "Okay."   
  
"Thanks, Jackie," Mickey said. "And...I'm sorry. Seriously, I am."   
  
She only managed to smile at him. The pair of them went down the stairs- Beth stayed on the sofa. Jackie closed the door wearily.   
  
"So he didn't kill her, then," Beth said.   
  
"No." Jackie said coldly. "He didn't."   
  
"You were the one convincing everyone he did."   
  
Jackie glared, and Beth stood up quickly.   
  
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry- I can take a hint. I'm sorry for everything, all right? And I hope Rose contacts you soon."   
  
Jackie's heart leapt to her mouth. "What?"   
  
"Rumor has it that she went off with a forty year old," Beth said, "and she's not talking to you." And she was gone, without even giving Jackie time to respond.   
  
Jackie watched her go downstairs.   
  
"He's not forty," she said to herself.   
  
*  
  
She phoned Rodrigo that night- she didn't ask about 'Susan' or anything of the like. She felt more lonely than she had ever been. Rodrigo was not much help.   
  
Unable to sleep, she went to the window and looked out. The world was very dark- the lights below her flickered- and she wondered what Rose was doing right now, and if she was thinking about what she'd left behind.   
  
Her mobile phone beeped.   
  
She almost gasped out loud- maybe it was Rose. Rose did have her phone with her, after all. She picked up the phone and looked at it.   
  
It wasn't from Rose, it was from Mickey. It said _If you want to talk, Jackie, I'm right here. And so are Trisha and Shareen and Maggie, if you want them.  
  
Don't hate him, Jackie. _  
  
It occurred to her that Mickey didn't normally spell that well. He must have made a effort...and wasn't that just petty of her.   
  
_Don't hate him, Jackie._  
  
And oh, perhaps she didn't...perhaps hate was something that could be turned off, after all.   
  
She returned to the window, and watched for any kind of shooting star.


	8. Meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the dialogue and even some of the plot in this comes from the old in-character (as Mickey) promo website for Doctor Who: whoisdoctorwho.co.uk. Sadly, most of it's gone now...

Someone was letting off fireworks outside.  
  
There was no good reason. It wasn't Bonfire Night, New Year's Eve, or anything. It was stupid, and it was keeping Mickey awake. People ought to be more considerate.  
  
There was a flash of green outside the window, and some cheers from far away.  
  
One week after Rose had vanished, people had been letting off fireworks. It hadn't been their fault- to them Rose had been nothing more than another face in the paper, they had no idea who she even was and it didn't affect them- but it had been _so depressing_. How could they be letting fireworks off when Rose had abandoned him?  
  
And why were they still at it, a year later, when he had confirmation that Rose _hadn't_ quite abandoned him and that was almost worse?  
  
He went to his computer, falling over things as he went. It was dark, but it was common practice for him to leave the machine on all night. The stuff on his desk was illuminated by the thin white light of the screen: a pile of newspapers and print-outs of emails. Old photographs in very old photoframes.  
  
The screen displayed his latest piece of writing:  
  
_It's been an interesting week. UNIT have changed their password (nice try guys, but we'll get in there, don't you fear), someone's been sending me plans of a nuclear power station, and my ex-girlfriend's been in touch.  
  
Those of you who've been following this site for a while will know that the last fact means trouble. 'Cos if she's around, so is Doctor Death.  
  
See ya next week. If there is one. Mix _  
  
*  
  
He was about to upload the page the next morning when he thought he'd check the sites he usually checked: the news, the sports, and the UNIT website. The last one contained something very much of interest. Mickey read it several times and then began typing.  
  
_Well, it's all been solved thanks to our fine friends at UNIT - the international agency responsible for covering up after aliens. They've issued a press release warning about the Schlechter Wolf bomb. Apparently, several have been found recently in the area around Albion Hospital - and UNIT are *really freaked*._  
  
Mickey personally was more interested than worried about the bomb: he had other things to worry about. Maybe they weren't quite as bad as the thought of bombs specially designed to deform you...but still. Maybe Rose and the Doctor had been out there, in World War II. Maybe they'd found the bombs, destroyed them and saved the planet. Possibly. Probably.  
  
He finished, uploaded everything, emailed the guy who had sent the nuclear power plant plans to him, and then went to do his latest job: washing cars. It wasn't a bad occupation: his employer was a friendly old bloke who didn't mind Mickey and the other two boys who worked there watching pirate DVDs in the back of the garage. Mickey didn't speak to anyone there about his life: it was mostly unbelievable anyway. He didn't even mention that he had a girlfriend, or pretty much had a girlfriend, or almost had two girlfriends or _whatever_.  
  
He and Trisha hadn't even _done_ anything.  
  
And he had once again neglected to tell her something very important: Rose was back and she wanted to see him. She had asked him to bring her passport along- maybe that was all she wanted, who knew?  
  
But probably not. He hated being in this situation. What was he going to tell Trisha, when he saw her?  
  
Business was slow that morning, and the weather was wet. Mickey and the others hung around in the garage and pretended to do paperwork.  
  
Mickey's phone buzzed: it was Trisha calling. His heart sank. Well, it didn't necessarily mean he had to tell her anything-  
  
"Has Rose really been in touch with you?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
Mickey groaned. "Yeah. Yeah, she has. She wants me to go see her. In Cardiff. In a week or so. How do you know?"  
  
"I read it on the website," she answered, with just a hint of impatience. "I do read it, you know."  
  
Mickey took a moment to be taken aback at his incredible stupidity. He considered the website world and the real world to be entirely different things, and it rarely occurred to him that they overlapped. Or that was his excuse, anyway, "Oh. Yeah. I mentioned that there, yeah..."  
  
"Are you going to see her, then?"  
  
"Um...yeah. She wants her passport."  
  
"Is that all she wants?"  
  
"I dunno...I was going to tell you..."  
  
"Does Jackie know?"  
  
"Yeah. Phoned her as soon as I could...I just...I was going to ring you as soon..."  
  
"I'm not jealous of Rose, you know," Trisha said quietly.  
  
"I know you're not, but...I gotta go."  
  
"Okay. Bye."  
  
She hung up, and Mickey also put his phone away. He looked up to see his workmates looking at him.  
  
"Girl trouble?" one of them said with a snicker.  
  
Mickey shrugged.  
  
*  
  
Later that day he went to see Maggie, and glumly told her everything. She offered him coffee.  
  
"Now, I don't have much experience with this sort of thing- I married the first man I loved," she said. "Two dates was all it took. You ought to think about all this, Mickey. Not just rush into the situation-"  
  
"What situation, exactly?" Mickey asked, drinking the coffee.  
  
"Well, are you in love with Trisha, Mickey?"  
  
Mickey considered it.  
  
"...No. We're just friends. I think."  
  
Maggie looked at him.  
  
"I don't know, alright? We just sort of ended up together."  
  
"And does she know that?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Maybe you'd better tell her."  
  
"Maybe, yeah."  
  
His heart sank.  
  
*  
  
The next day, after a sleepless night, he went to see Jackie. She wanted him to fix her computer for her.  
  
"There's a virus on it, Jackie. Have you been opening emails from people you don't know?"  
  
"They were offering free iPods- I really want an iPod." Jackie said.  
  
"Oh, Christ. Jackie- from now on don't open an email unless it's from me, alright?"  
  
"Or from Rose?"  
  
"She doesn't know you have email! You didn't when she left!"  
  
"Don't shout, Mickey."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
He twirled around on the computer chair pointlessly.  
  
"You know what else I haven't thought of," Jackie said,  
  
"What?" Mickey asked vaguely.  
  
"What if she comes back, right, with a half-human baby? I'm not 'aving that. That's just wrong, that is."  
  
Mickey goggled at her. She just looked back.  
  
"It'd be creepy," she said. "'Sides, Rose never wanted to be a mum. Not like me."  
  
Mickey turned away in frustration and went back to the computer. The virus was proving hard to crack.  
  
"You know, I saw your latest update...before I broke the computer, I mean." Jackie said. "On your website," She sounded rather guilty, and Mickey wondered if they _all_ had secrets.  
  
"What is it, Jackie?"  
  
" _Schlecter Wolf_. That's German, isn't it? Means Bad Wolf."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I did do German at school, Jackie."  
  
Jackie shifted on the sofa nervously. "It's about my mother. She...you know...how she was always a bit weird..."  
  
"What...?" Mickey asked nervously.  
  
Jackie sighed. "Bad Wolf. Once when I went to visit her, when Rose was...still missing...she started talking about a Bad Wolf."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She said, _She's run away with the big bad wolf_. Meaning Rose."  
  
Mickey was silent.  
  
"I...it's probably nothing important. Just...I mean, I don't even know what Bad Wolf is..."  
  
More silence.  
  
"Can I come with you, Mickey?" Jackie asked. "To Cardiff. I just want to see her."  
  
Mickey shook his head.  
  
"Um. I don't know. I was hoping to go on my own...I only need to give her her passport."  
  
Jackie gave him a very cold look.  
  
"Fine, then. You go. Enjoy yourself."  
  
*  
  
A day later, and he was preparing to leave. He was throwing stuff into a overnight bag when the doorbell rang. He knew who it would be even before he opened the door.  
  
"Hello, Trisha."  
  
"You're going now, then?" she asked. "Jackie said you said she couldn't come."  
  
Mickey shook his head. "She's welcome to make her own way to Cardiff, if she wants."  
  
"She's _frightened_ ," Trisha said.  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"She's just frightened. S'just..." Trisha tapped her fingers on the doorframe. "It's weird. All sorts of weird stuff is happening all the time, it feels like, but nobody seems actually _scared_ about it. Ever since the aliens..."  
  
"What, the Slitheen?"  
  
"Yeah, them...it's like no-one cares anymore...my family doesn't care."  
  
Mickey finally stepped aside to let her in.  
  
"Well, I care."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
There was an awkward silence.  
  
"You know, you mentioned on the website something about a nuclear power station," Trisha said finally. "What's that about?"  
  
"Oh. Some guy sent me an email. About a nuclear power plant. It was slightly weird," Mickey went on. "He said not to do anything unless I heard from him by midnight...um...yesterday, I think. Can't remember. Anyway, heard nothing, so I was going to put them online as soon as I got to Cardiff..."  
  
"And did this guy say anything else about the nuclear plant?" Trisha questioned. "Like...oh, I don't know...it's being built by aliens, or something?"  
  
"He didn't mention aliens."  
  
"What else _did_ he say, then?"  
  
"It's called _Blaidd Drwg_. The Blaidd Drwg project. That's pretty much all he said."  
  
Trisha looked thoughtful.  
  
"Blaidd Drwg? That's a pretty weird coincidence..."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, the Schlecter Wolf bomb thing and now this...you see, Bad Wolf is my brother's graffiti tag. So it sort of rung a bell..."  
  
"Um...."  
  
"Oh Mickey, don't you know Welsh?"  
  
"No. D'you?"  
  
"Yeah- Blaidd Drwg means Bad Wolf."  
  
Mickey could only stare at her, suddenly slightly scared in a detached kind of way. This was all he needed.  
  
"Oh. Well. That's interesting," he said.  
  
"Mickey- is there something you're not telling me?" Trisha asked.  
  
_Yes. A couple of things. At least. So much for not being a liar._  
  
"No."  
  
Trisha sighed. "May I use your computer? I want to look up _Bad Wolf_."  
  
Mickey felt anxiety in the pit of his stomach. "Why can't you use your own computer?"  
  
"It's broken. My older brother broke it. Please don't ask how."  
  
"Well, alright."  
  
He switched the computer on for her and went back to packing in the other room. But he felt horribly nervous now. It couldn't just be down to the the fact he was worried about meeting Rose...  
  
No, it was something else.  
  
_She's run away with the big bad wolf..._  
  
He ignored his bad feeling until he could ignore it no longer. He went back to the computer room- Trisha was looking at a website. And as soon as he came in, she closed it and turned around.  
  
"Something funny's going on, Mickey," she said in a panicky voice.  
  
"What? What did you just see?  
  
"I....look, I typed it into a search engine, and the first one that came up..." She trailed off, and hugged herself.  
  
" _What_ , Trisha?"  
  
" _You don't want to know_!" And she pushed back the computer chair and stood up, shaking.  
  
"Trisha?" Mickey asked lamely.  
  
"Something bad is going on," she said. "That website I was just at, it said..."  
  
" _What_?"  
  
She shook her head, and appeared to regain her sanity.  
  
"Are...are you about to leave, Mickey?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
They looked at each other for a long time.  
  
"Look, what _was_..."  
  
"No! I don't want to talk about it. Okay?"  
  
Mickey realised he felt faintly sick. He picked up his bag, lead her outside, and locked the door. "Okay. I'll be back by tomorrow, probably, see you later." He kissed her on the cheek and walked away- and then looked back. She was just standing there, terrified. But then she raised her hand, and waved goodbye.  
  
"See you later," she said quietly.  
  
*  
  
Mickey spent half an hour at Swindon Station doing nothing. His brain was in turmoil: what on earth had Trisha seen to leave her shaking like that? Was it nothing? Something? A message saying _the world will end tomorrow_?  
  
Or today?  
  
And what was he going to say to Rose, anyway? About...everything? The fact that he was dating someone else, if it could be called dating? _Rose_ had been the one who'd left, anyway, so...  
  
He was quite angry with her, he realised. And with himself.  
  
Eventually he trundled off to a cybercafe to update the website. He typed _Bad Wolf_ into the search engine, and stared at the first entry.  
  
_What's the mystery that's haunted the Doctor and Rose? Find out absolutely nothing..._  
  
Scared, he looked away, then moved his mouse to click on it. But he couldn't. He listed this as proof that he was a terrible coward, closed the window and went back to typing.  
  
_I'm off to meet Rose in a bit - she said to look for You-Know-What in Cardiff Bay, which is right by the Millennium Something - that's got to be the Millennium Stadium. After all, how many Millennium Things can you have in one city?  
  
I dunno. All this Millennium stuff is so last century. LOL.  
  
But anyway - she whistles, and I come. Two hours on the train. Two-and-a-half if you count the weird half hour admiring the view from Swindon station. The things you do for love. I've waited six months. But that extra half hour was the worst. _  
  
It most definitely had been.  
  
He read over that paragraph again. _The things you do for love..._ if Trisha saw that, what would she _think_? But then he remembered her computer wasn't working anyway, and nor was Jackie's.  
  
He carried on, waiting for the guilt to come. It didn't.  
  
_So, this power station's in Cardiff. So is Rose. These days, the two are bound to be connected. Meltdown.  
  
But I think the real explosion'll come if I tell her about Trisha... _  
  
Yes. What was he going to do about that, anyway?  
  
He wanted to leave now, but there was one more thing.  
  
_Curious. That nuclear power station is called Blaidd Drwg. Which translates as "Evil or Bad Wolf".  
  
Now, something really weird happens if you type bad wolf into a search engine. _  
  
That wouldn't panic anybody. Good.  
  
He left then, trying to make the fear go away. Halfway across town, it faded a little...the Doctor would know what to do, surely. The man who'd stolen his girlfriend and his life for a year, _he'd_ know what to do...  
  
He approached the time machine.


	9. You Think You Know Your Name

"I saw Jimmy the other day," Shareen said. "He's gone and lost his job, my mum says,"   
  
"Oh," Trisha answered. "How come?"   
  
"Threw a tin of baked beans at his boss."   
  
They were sitting on Jackie's sofa, awaiting Mickey's return. Jackie was in the kitchen doing nothing. The TV was on the news channel: something had just happened in Cardiff. An explosion, or something.   
  
Time was ticking.   
  
"Try ringing Mickey's mobile again," Jackie called from the kitchen. She was lighting up a cigarette.   
  
"His mobile's off." Trisha said.   
  
"Well, try it again."   
  
She did, and got nothing.   
  
"He'll be back tomorrow," Shareen said, "If he's not, _then_ we can worry."   
  
"It's _Rose_ I'm worried about," Jackie said desperately. "Especially since the Doctor probably caused all this."   
  
*  
  
Finally, more than a hour later, Trisha dialed Mickey's home phone and he answered.   
  
"Mickey!" she said in relief. The other two gathered round.   
  
"Is Rose all right?" Jackie asked. "Ask him if Rose is all right."   
  
"Is Rose all right, Mickey? Jackie wants to know." Trisha said.   
  
"Rose is fine," Mickey said, somewhat coolly. "She's gone back off with the Doctor. I want to go to bed, or something- I'll see you later."   
  
He put the phone down.   
  
Trisha sighed. She felt close to tears.   
  
"He's gone. Rose is fine, he says...I think I'm going to go home."   
  
*  
  
She had nightmares that night.   
  
_THE BIG BAD WOLF IS ALSO SEEN AS PREYING ON THE VULNERABLE, SIGNALLING THE END OF INNOCENCE.  
  
Rose came wandering out of the computer, looking annoyed. She spotted Trisha."Oh. Hello. So, what made you think Mickey could even like you? You're just a fat little girl. Anyway, we've got bigger things to worry about. The world's about to end."   
  
"But w-what about the Doctor?" Trisha stammered.   
  
"The Doctor's dead. I killed him."   
  
TURNS OUT YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING. _  
  
She woke up, terrified. She hid under the quilt covers- nothing could get her there. Although _of course_ it could. Nightmares always had some basis in reality.   
  
She would have to have a long talk with Mickey tomorrow. She suspected that it would be bad- although not as bad as whatever was bearing down on them now.   
  
*  
  
When she went to Mickey's house the next day, she went via the shops to pick some things up for her mother. On the way she passed one of the old Rose 'Missing' posters.   
  
She felt like collapsing there and crying. _So this is what it feels like to actually have some sort of adventure_ , she thought. _Not all fun and games, at all. Hell, I've probably lost Mickey and everything..._   
  
She went on to Mickey's flat, and rung the doorbell before she had a chance to change her mind.   
  
Mickey opened it.   
  
"Hello," he said.   
  
"Hello," she answered, quietly. "We need to talk about everything. About what happened in Cardiff."   
  
Mickey nodded. He looked like he was dreading something. "Come on in."   
  
She went in, and sat down.   
  
"That explosion in Cardiff wasn't really an explosion, it was sort of...a rift," Mickey said. "It was one of the Slitheen, who survived- she was behind the nuclear power plant. But it's not really important-"   
  
" _Not really important_?"   
  
"Well, it's hard to explain. Weird stuff happens when the Doctor's around. But anyway," he sighed. "I met Rose. We talked..."   
  
"About what?" Trisha asked, although she could guess what was coming. "Did you tell her about me? Because we're not...we're barely even _dating_ , Mickey."   
  
"I mentioned you, she wasn't happy," Mickey said quickly.   
  
"I see," Determined not to cry, she blinked fast and said, "And she heads away with another man, leaving you behind, but no- _you're_ the one in the wrong. And me by default, I suppose."   
  
Mickey muttered something.   
  
"What was that?"   
  
" _Two_ men. They picked up a new friend. He's from...um...the fiftieth century, I think. Something like that."   
  
Trisha gave a hollow laugh. "What else happened, Mickey?"   
  
"I might have lost my temper a little," he whispered.   
  
"Hmm."   
  
"It's not even that she's my girlfriend," Mickey said furiously. "It's not even that she was my friend and I loved her and everything. She always reminds me of all the stuff I did wrong. And if only I'd done it _right_ , if only I was less of a coward, I could have stayed with her and everything. And I hate thinking that, because I could be happy here. You know? You've been so good to me, Trisha. It's just...you know...I sort of want _everything_ , Rose and a normal life and you still around _and_ being part of a bigger world as well, knowing stuff about the universe, and I _can't_."   
  
Trisha felt like hitting him, almost. But she knew she wouldn't- it just wasn't her style, if indeed she had a style. Besides, what he had just said had struck a chord with her.   
  
"What did you say to her about me, Mickey?" she asked.   
  
He flushed. "I said you'd lost weight."   
  
Trisha realised this was probably one of the worst days of her life so far. No it wasn't- the day she'd looked at the Bad Wolf website had been the worst day, because now she _knew_ \- she knew something Mickey didn't, something the others didn't, possibly something even the Doctor and Rose didn't. The weight of that knowledge threatened to crush her- she wasn't like Rose. She could do nothing- nothing good enough. She'd been living for the past few months in the shadow of an unattainable person, and she'd _liked_ it.   
  
"It's like," she said hopelessly, "this will never be worked out. Because everyone in the universe is so damn selfish."   
  
"Yes," said Mickey. That should have made things a whole lot worse, but didn't. _I see_ , thought Trisha. _Some of us, like Rose and Mickey, get to make proper choices. The rest of us? We have a word here, a shake of the head there- little gestures that change our own little worlds. Because if we don't change our own worlds, who will?_  
  
"I'm sorry," Mickey said. "I..."   
  
"It's alright," she said quietly.   
  
"I've got something else to tell you."   
  
A nagging fear rose up inside her. _So he's done something. Not Rose or the Doctor- him._  
  
"I'll get it over with," he said. "Remember what I told you once- that the Doctor refused to let me come? That Rose wanted me to but he said no?"   
  
"Yeah..."   
  
"He asked me," Mickey said, "and _I_ said no."   
  
For some reason, for a few seconds, it was absolutely not a world-shattering revelation. In fact, the words _Is that all_? fluttered through her brain. Then, gradually, it began to sink in.   
  
"You said no? Why?"   
  
"I don't know," he said. "Because I thought- I thought I'd be useless, that I might get someone killed, millions killed- Mickey the idiot. God, I am all right. I thought about myself, not about her- I didn't want her to know what a coward I was..."   
  
"That's not not wanting to be a coward," Trisha said. "That's not wanting to be a killer."   
  
"No. I was a coward," Mickey said flatly. "And I've hurt you on top of everything else- I've been lying. I reckon you deserve better. I'm so, so, sorry, Trisha."   
  
*  
  
She left the flat and sat outside. It was, she noticed bleakly, the same place she'd met Mickey for the first time. There was the dustbin...   
  
It seemed like such a long time ago. What would have happened, she thought, if she'd had one conversation with him and then put him out of her mind?   
  
She was _livid_ all of a sudden. It seemed like everything had been _denied_ to her- the travelling, the stars, the entire universe, and the boy who had perhaps been her first real friend. He'd been _lying_ \- he'd betrayed her, in some sort of way. Barely able to see through her tears, she sat down on the dustbin and cried furiously.   
  
And then she felt a hand on her shoulder. It wasn't Mickey, though- it was Shareen.   
  
"Boy trouble?" Shareen said dryly.   
  
Trisha managed to laugh. "Oh, god. Sort of."   
  
*  
  
Shareen sighed and lit up another cigarette.   
  
"Thing is, though...if he only ever kissed you _once_...he's done everything with Rose."   
  
"Uh-huh." That in itself did not make her feel better.   
  
"I don't like to think about it," Shareen said. "Sometimes I think if I met the Doctor I'd kick him in the balls- if he has them. Anyway. Shall we go home?"   
  
They went home.   
  
"Jackie's pissed at Mickey, too," Shareen said as they walked. "Because he didn't want her coming to Cardiff. Although I reckon maybe it's better she didn't."   
  
"Yeah...well..."   
  
"Look, you'll meet other boys. Ones more attractive than Mickey. I'll take you clubbing one of these days..."   
  
Trisha snorted. "Me? Clubbing? I'm _fat_."   
  
"No you're not. Not really. You're way thinner than you were," Shareen flushed a little, possibly remembering her 'lardball' comment. "Anyway...this is your place, right? I'll see you later."   
  
Trisha watched her go, and remembered she hadn't told her anything about the Bad Wolf. That couldn't be good.   
  
*  
  
Her home felt something vaguely like a home for the first time in years, but the feeling soon went away again.   
  
Sam was on the phone, making arrangements for a friend to stay over for the weekend. But in the background- probably so loudly that his friend could hear- Rob was arguing with his mother again.   
  
"Shit, woman- you think you're any good at this? You raised a bunch of losers- a goddamn vandal-"   
  
Sam pressed the phone fiercely against his ear.   
  
"-and a fat spineless bitch! It's because of _you_ that I didn't stay with Josephine-"   
  
All Trisha could do was leave, but as soon as she'd backed out into the corridor she heard Sam put the phone down.   
  
"I hate you both," he said flatly, and also left the room, pushing right past her and barely taking note.   
  
Trisha sighed, and felt near tears.   
  
"Grow _up_ , Rob. You ruin everything."   
  
The phone rang.   
  
Rob glared at her. "You get it."   
  
"What, me, a fat spineless bitch? Do you really think I'm capable?"   
  
"TRISHA!" her mother shouted.   
  
Cursing in her head, she answered the phone.   
  
"Trisha?" came Mickey's voice on the other end. "I forgot something. The Doctor knows about the Bad Wolf, and he said it was just a coincidence."   
  
Thousands of emotions threatened to crush her.   
  
"Is that really what he said?"   
  
"I know you might not believe me," Mickey said sadly, "but that's exactly what he said."   
  
"I see. Thank you, Mickey," she said, polite to the last. She put the phone down, and stood there shaking all over.   
  
This had to end soon.   
  
*  
  
But the nightmare came again that night: the doorbell rang and it was Rose.   
  
_"Trisha, I need your help. The Doctor's gonna die if I don't save him. You need to find Mickey for me-"_  
  
She woke up. She lay there for a while, and looked at the clock. Nearly half-one in the morning.   
  
She didn't want to go back to sleep- the nightmares would come again. But she was tired, that was the problem. And she could feel herself slipping back to sleep even now.   
  
She drifted off.   
  
_"Don't you know what the Bad Wolf is, Trisha? No? Aren't you supposed to be scared of the Bad Wolf? Are you scared of ME?"_  
  
Trisha backed away into the computer.   
  
"You're not Rose. Go away. Please."   
  
Rose turned back into Rose again.   
  
"Trisha, I need your help..."   
  
Then she just went away again, and Trisha drifted in and out of sleep and watched the clock.   
  
The future was coming. 


	10. The World Is In Your Hands & epilogue

The hologram flickered into being.   
  
" _This is Emergency Program One_ ," it said. " _Rose, now listen_."   
  
Rose listened, terrified.   
  
" _This is important. If this message is activated then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger, and I mean fatal. I'm dead, or about to die, any second with no chance of escape_."   
  
"No!"   
  
" _And that's okay_ ," the hologram went on, " _hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home._ "   
  
"I won't let you," Rose said fiercely.   
  
" _And I bet you're fussing and moaning now, typical_ ," the hologram said, and at that she felt very real panic. " _But hold on, and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return. Emergency Program One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do. Let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No-one can open it, no-one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world will move on and the box will be buried._ "   
  
Shock took over.   
  
" _And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing_."   
  
The hologram, impossibly, turned to face her.   
  
" _Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life_."   
  
The Doctor vanished.   
  
Rose stared.   
  
"You can't do this to me. You can't. Take me back."   
  
Nothing.   
  
" _Take me back_!"   
  
She ran outside- she was back home. This was London.. This was where she'd grown up. This was where her family was.   
  
This was where she couldn't stay.   
  
She ran back inside. She couldn't let it end like this. There were people who she loved about to die back there. The man who'd changed her life, and one of the best friends she'd ever had. They were going to die, they were going to die...and she was going to live.   
  
It went back and forth in her head. _He saved me. He wanted me to survive. He sent me home, where my mum and boyfriend and all my old mates are. He said to have a good life_.   
  
_But I want to choose for myself! If it comes down to either a good life without him or a short life with him, I choose to not see the end of today.  
  
Did anything out there hear that? Please! _  
  
Desperately, she went outside one more time- and Mickey was there.   
  
*  
  
Trisha had woken up at seven thirty in the morning. She had sat there in bed for a bit, worried as hell and sure, quite sure, that Today Was The Day.   
  
As the sun rose, she got washed and dressed and went out to the balcony. She wondered what on earth you were supposed to _do_ when you woke up and knew this was It.   
  
She decided to go out.   
  
She went to her room, put her mobile phone in her pocket, pulled on her trainers and headed for the door. On the way out she passed the mirror, and glanced in it. She looked so _different_. Not just thinner...she looked _older_. Like someone new had taken her place.   
  
But there was no time to linger- the warning from the dreams was still constantly in her head. She had to work it out- and fast. Assuming that she could.   
  
She went to the front door, and then the phone rang. She ignored it, but as she reached for the door chain, her mother called to her.   
  
"Trisha! The phone's for you." She stuck her head out of the living room door, the phone in one hand.   
  
"Who is it?" Trisha asked guardedly.   
  
Her mother winced a little. "It's your father."   
  
" _What_?"   
  
*  
  
Shareen had also woken early that morning, except it had nothing to do with any feelings of foreboding. She had simply forgotten to turn the television off, and it woke her up.   
  
She considered, after getting washed and dressed, what to do with her day. A year or two ago she'd have gone to the gym with Rose, but those days were over.   
  
So she figured she'd go on her own.   
  
She packed some stuff, went out without waking her mother and wandered down the road. It was a cold day. Grey and grim. The middle of October- too early for Christmas, too far away from summer.   
  
Jackie ran past her.   
  
Shareen stopped.   
  
"Jackie?" she called after her. "What's up?" Jackie Tyler did not usually run like that. She looked rather frantic- and when she turned around, Shareen saw the expression on her face. It was some combination of worry and relief.   
  
"Rose is back, Shareen. Mickey just called. Something's happened..." But before Shareen could ask a single question, Jackie was running again.   
  
"Jackie!" Shareen yelled after her, but got no answer. She stood for a moment in almost-fear, wondering what to do.   
  
Rose was back. Her best friend had returned. And no-one had phoned her, Rose hadn't called- but she tried to push that irritation away.   
  
She was about to follow Jackie when something occurred to her: she didn't _want_ to see Rose. Not now. Not at the moment. She wouldn't know what to say.   
  
She remained where she was, nervously pondering her choices.   
  
Rose was back. Mickey was with Rose. Jackie was with them too. She didn't know where they'd gone. She could ring Mickey and find out, but...   
  
Jackie had said something'd happened. What had happened? Had Rose been hurt? And what about the Doctor? She'd said nothing about him.   
  
She _could_ go and find Trisha, she supposed. As soon as that thought entered her mind another one followed: did this mean Trisha was her best friend now?   
  
Holy _shit_ , she thought. She had other friends...people from the old school, people from old jobs, and stuff. And Mickey, too. But _Trisha_! Even if she'd proved she wasn't stupid or a bitch, why was Shareen thinking of going to _her_?   
  
_I'll get her and we both can go find Rose_ , she thought. _Assuming Rose wants to see me. Assuming Rose is still...Rose_.   
  
She started walking quickly to Trisha's flat, thinking as she went. She had her mobile phone with her, the same one she'd had for years, if Rose was back why hadn't she rung her? What was the Something that had happened?   
  
What if Rose had lost her memory, or something? What if the Doctor had done something to her?   
  
She took her phone from her pocket and dialed Mickey's number, but his phone was turned off.   
  
*  
  
Trisha's mother held out the phone.   
  
"It's your father. He wants to talk to you."   
  
"I can't. I've got to go out," Trisha said, keeping her voice level. Her _father_? What the _hell_? "Tell him I'll talk to him later. Some other time. Alright?"   
  
"Aw, but Trisha..." her mum said, "...he'll be really upset..."   
  
Rob appeared in the doorway, his face angry.   
  
" _He wants to fucking talk to you_!" he mouthed.   
  
That made her mind up. "Okay, then," she snapped. "Ask him where he was all the times when _I_ wanted to talk to _him_ and he wasn't there. When _I_ was really upset. Tell him that."   
  
She marched out.   
  
Halfway down the stairs Rob grabbed her arm.   
  
"Are you mental, Trisha?" he snapped. "He wants to talk to you. You know, his bloody _daughter_."   
  
" _Why_ does he want to talk to me?"   
  
Rob let go of her. "'Cause...well....he thought today was your birthday."   
  
"My birthday is next month." Trisha said flatly. "Excuse me, I've got to go."   
  
"Well, you could at least go and correct him, couldn't you?" Rob asked. "Then he'll get it right."   
  
"Why are you so bothered about Dad?" Trisha asked acidly. "You never cared so much about anyone else."   
  
"He was the only person who ever gave a shit about me," Rob said angrily.   
  
"I wonder why that could be."   
  
She turned to go down the stairs, and suddenly Shareen burst in through the door at the bottom. They spotted each other at exactly the same time. Trisha's heart leapt: was this proof of her fears? Shareen had been running, normally she wouldn't have run...   
  
Shareen said simply, "Rose is back."   
  
"Rose is back?" Rob repeated, before Trisha had a chance to speak. "Rose Tyler?"   
  
"Where is she?" Trisha asked Shareen. "Do you know?"   
  
"She's somewhere with her mum and Mickey. Mickey's turned his phone off, though-" She reached for her phone and pressed a few buttons. "And Rose's is off, as well."   
  
"Let's go, then," Trisha said.   
  
"I dunno where she is," Shareen said. "And Jackie said something had happened..."   
  
Trisha felt a dull fear in her stomach. And possibly excitement, as well. "Something _has_ happened, but I dunno what. Let's go find her- I'll explain on the way."   
  
"What's happened?" Rob yelled as they ran down the stairs. But both girls ignored him.   
  
*  
  
They walked quickly through the street, and Trisha explaining almost everything she knew.   
  
"Look, I don't get the Bad Wolf thing," Shareen said. "What is it? Is it just the website?"   
  
"I don't know exactly what it is, that's the problem," Trisha answered. "But, it's like...it keeps showing up. It's been the name of a bomb and the name of a power station, and my brother's graffiti tag, and then I saw the website..." She shuddered. "It's something chasing Rose and the Doctor. Through time. I think."   
  
"Through _time_? How?"   
  
"But Mickey asked the Doctor," Trisha added, "and he said it was just a coincidence. But this website, it said it was everywhere. That it was graffiti, and names and things. Things you wouldn't really notice. But it's there. And the website..." She opted not to continue.   
  
They slowed down a little; they'd reached the shops now.   
  
"You think it's chasing Rose? Just her, maybe?" Shareen asked.   
  
"I don't know..."   
  
Shareen pushed buttons on her phone again. "Still no answer. From either of them. Rose's phone is on but she's not answering. What if something _really_ bad..." But she trailed off. "Okay. Let's split up. I'll go that way and you go that way. We'll keep in touch by mobile." She sounded rather agitated by this point.   
  
"Alright," Trisha said.   
  
"And," Shareen went on, "...what do we do when we find Rose and Mickey?"   
  
"I don't know," Trisha said.   
  
"But you know something," Shareen said, her voice getting higher, "because you saw the website, and I didn't. You know something I don't. And it's something bad, isn't it?"   
  
Time seemed to pause, although of course it didn't really. Trisha thought. She went back over everything she'd read about the Bad Wolf, despite not really wanting to. She also remembered the dreams.   
  
_I need your help_.   
  
And then, slowly, she thought she had an idea.   
  
*  
  
Mickey watched Rose from across the table. She looked utterly devastated. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that she wasn't going to stay here with him. Not while her friends were trapped in the middle of a war somewhere. A war for _Earth_ and all.   
  
It didn't break his heart as much as he had figured.   
  
Because Rose was _dead_ , in a way. Back during the time they'd all thought she was dead, she had been. Because this wasn't Rose. Not really. Oh, the world was so mental these days.   
  
"Listen to me," Jackie was saying from her seat next to him. "God knows I have hated that man, but right now I love him, and do you know why? Because he did the right thing. He sent you back to me."   
  
"But what do I do with every day, Mum?" Rose said in a desperate voice. "What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips, and go to bed, is that it?"   
  
Mickey answered, not sure whether the statement he was making made him angry, sad, defensive or all three. "It's what the rest of us do."   
  
*  
  
"Sam's got a friend staying over," Trisha said as they hurried back to the estate. "Adam somethingorother. Dunno if he's into the whole vandalising-public-property thing, though."   
  
"You're sure this'll work?" Shareen asked. "Because it sounds a little...stupid to me. No offence."   
  
"None taken."   
  
They tore up the stairs and into the flat.   
  
"Sam!" Trisha yelled.   
  
Sam was sitting with Adam, watching TV.   
  
"Yeah?" he asked nervously. And then he added, "Rob's gone out somewhere. He was a bit-"   
  
"Listen," Trisha said, interrupting. "You remember....some time ago, when you wrote something on a box and had to clean it off again? You wrote _bad wolf_ , didn't you?"   
  
"Yeah," Sam said nervously. Adam looked at him. "What's this about?"   
  
"It's a long story," Shireen said.   
  
"Well. Anyway. Do you want to go on a graffiti spree?" Trisha asked.   
  
*  
  
Rose was explaining herself.   
  
"It was... It was a better life." she said. Mickey listened. "Not the... I don't mean all the traveling, seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know, he showed _you_ too. That you don't just give up, you don't just let things happen. You... make a stand, you say no...you have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away..."   
  
Mickey could think of no way to express his thoughts.   
  
"...and I just... can't..."   
  
Rose half ran, half stumbled out of the restaurant.   
  
*  
  
Trisha, Shareen, Sam and Adam raced down the street, armed only with some pens, chalks and spray paint.   
  
"What's this _for_?" Sam asked his sister. "Are you trying to get back at someone?"   
  
"Yeah," Trisha said. "In...a way."   
  
Sam shrugged.   
  
They reached a park...it looked like a good place to begin.   
  
"Right," Trisha said, resigned to giving orders. "Sam and Adam, you can start here. Just write Bad Wolf everywhere you see."   
  
Adam said nothing, just pointed. The other three looked. Bad Wolf was already written on the wall, covered up with other graffiti. It had had to have been there years.   
  
"Is there something you're not telling us?" he asked.   
  
Silence.   
  
"No," Shareen said. "You get writing."   
  
"I'll go down the street," Trisha said, taking one of the pens. "Shareen, you go over that way- we'll all keep in touch via cell phone. Alright?"   
  
Sam looked wary. "What if someone catches us?"   
  
"I dunno-" Trisha said. "Tell them you're on a secret mission, or something."   
  
Adam was already chalking the ground, looking gleeful.   
  
*  
  
Mickey and Jackie sat in the cafe.   
  
"She ran off," Jackie said flatly.   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"She just said everyone else runs away and then she ran away from us."   
  
"Um, yeah."   
  
"Are you going after her?"   
  
"I...yeah, yeah I am."   
  
*  
  
Trisha hurried down the street, pen in hand, looking for a secluded spot. Somewhere that whoever was looking for this message (it was a message, wasn't it? It had to be.) would be able to see it. Who _was_ looking for it- Rose? The Doctor? A friend of theirs? It _had_ to be one of the good guys; she couldn't stand the alternative.   
  
Maybe on a bus shelter or a bench or something...   
  
She suddenly saw Mickey on the other side of the road. He had just come out of a cafe, and he was running- running after Rose? Trisha couldn't be sure.   
  
He saw her standing there on the other side, looked at her- she looked back- and then he ran off.   
  
Trisha figured it was a goodbye.   
  
*  
  
Shareen had found somebody who she didn't especially want to see: Alex, Jimmy's girlfriend, walking down the street with some shopping bags.   
  
"Hi," she said to Shareen.   
  
"Hello," Shareen answered frostily.   
  
Alex didn't pick up on her coldness. "You know...that was you Jimmy was chasing, back all that time ago, wasn't it? When he was chucking bottles down and stuff."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"I dumped him 'cos of that. He's a friggin' maniac."   
  
"Right," Shareen said, only mildly interested. And then, because she figured it might be worth it, "Y'know Rose? My old best friend? She's back. Have you seen her?"   
  
"No," Alex said. "She's _weird_ , that one. People keep saying weird stuff happens when she's around. Like, there's this box down the street- someone said it was something to do with her. A phone box or something that wasn't there yesterday. I thought it had to be the council, y'know, replacing the old phone boxes...they always look smashed up...."   
  
"What was she doing in a box?" Shareen interrupted, giving no hint to her knowledge.   
  
"Dunno. Say," she changed the subject, "is Mickey Smith still dating...um...that fat chick? Because he's quite nice, isn't he..."   
  
"Look, she's not fat. She's a mate of mine," Shareen said angrily.   
  
"Oh," Alex raised an eyebrow. "Whatever."   
  
"Did you say the box was around here?" Shareen demanded.   
  
"Yeah. Just at the end of this street. Haven't seen Rose, though. What's she doing back-"   
  
Shareen ran off.   
  
"Thanks, Alex!" she shouted over her shoulder.   
  
*****   
  
Jackie sat in the cafe and looked at her mobile phone. She went down the list of contacts. Mickey, Shareen, Trisha, Maggie. Rodrigo. Her old friends like Beth. Rose.   
  
She dialed Rose's number. It rang but no-one answered. Rose must be looking to see who was calling, and finding out it was only her mother.   
  
_Only her mother_.   
  
Jackie missed her own mother terribly all of a sudden. She wasn't sure why- hadn't they barely got on while she was alive? She felt a sting of guilt- not for the first time, either. All the time these days, she was wishing she'd acted differently towards the people around her.   
  
But that was the past now- and she was in the future.   
  
*****   
  
Shareen reached the box, and took a good look at it. No-one else seemed to be especially interested- in fact, the street was pretty much deserted.   
  
She tried the door. It was locked.   
  
She took out her phone and called Trisha.   
  
"Hey. S'me. I've found the...not Rose...not anyone...the time-travel thingy."   
  
*****   
  
Mickey knew which way Rose had gone, but locating her wasn't going to be so easy. She could have gone home, gone to a friend's house (Shareen's, maybe?) or gone back to the TARDIS or anything.   
  
Sam Delaney and some mate of his wandered past him.   
  
"Oi, Sam!" Mickey called.   
  
Sam turned around. He had a can of spray paint in his hand. "Yeah?"   
  
"Have you seen Rose Tyler anywhere?"   
  
Sam shrugged at first, but then he said. "Wait. She might be in the park. Saw her walking over there when we were leaving."   
  
"Right. Thanks." Mickey said, and went in that direction.   
  
*****   
  
Trisha came running to Shareen, who was now sitting on the wall beside the blue box.   
  
"Did you...you know...manage to write the message down anywhere?" was the first thing she asked.   
  
"I'm pleased to say I vandalised more bus stations and walls today than I ever have in my life," Shareen took out a cigarette and lit it. "You?"   
  
"Yeah. No-one saw me...I wrote it on posters, mostly."   
  
Shareen pointed at the box. "I tried the door. It's locked."   
  
Trisha tried it anyway: it was indeed not going to open. She sighed to herself, just a little.   
  
"I wonder what it _looks_ like in there..."   
  
"I thought Mickey would have told you, if _he's_ been in there."   
  
"He did, kinda, once or twice. But it's not like seeing it."   
  
"Anyway, back in the real world-" Shareen said glumly, "-have we actually done much?"   
  
"We'll find out soon, I suppose," Trisha said   
  
*  
  
Rose was sitting on a bench- she looked utterly miserable. Mickey walked up to her, and took a deep breath.   
  
"You can't spend the rest of your life thinking about the Doctor," he said.   
  
Rose only just looked at him. "How do I forget him?" she answered.   
  
"You've gotta start living your own life. You know, a proper life, like the kind he's never had."   
  
Rose didn't seem to care.   
  
"...the sort of life you could have with me."   
  
It was hopeless, he knew it. They'd been through this already.   
  
_Sorry, Rose. I can't live without you and I can't live with you, anymore_.   
  
He looked at Rose. And Rose was looking at something- something on the ground. He looked too.   
  
Writing. Writing in chalk.   
  
It said, 'BAD WOLF'.   
  
_Oh no. Please not this. No, no, no._  
  
Rose stood up and stared around. "It's over there as well!"   
  
"That's been there for years!" Mickey yelled desperately. Now he thought about it, he figured that actually, it had. Besides, it was just a coincidence. Just a coincidence...   
  
"It's just a phrase!" he called. "It's just words!"   
  
"I thought it was a warning," Rose said breathlessly. "Maybe it's the opposite! Maybe it's a message!" She looked around. "The same words written down now, and two hundred thousand years in the future. It's a link, between me and the Doctor, bad wolf here, bad wolf there!"   
  
"Yeah, but..." Mickey managed to say, "if it's a message, what's it saying?"   
  
"It's telling me I can get back!"   
  
*  
  
Trisha and Shareen wandered down the street.   
  
"Look-" Shareen said. "That one of yours?"   
  
_Bad Wolf_ was written on a poster.   
  
"No...maybe it was Sam or Adam."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"I wonder where Jackie is," Trisha wondered out loud.   
  
"Dunno. God, I feel sorry for her," Shareen muttered. "Don't ask why. S'just..."   
  
They wandered through the streets of London, inside a crowd of people.   
  
"Where are we going?" Trisha asked.   
  
"Let's do more writing on the walls. C'mon. I always wanted an ASBO."   
  
*  
  
Mickey and Rose were inside the time machine.   
  
"All the TARDIS needs to do is make a return trip. Just... reverse." Rose said.   
  
"Yeah, but you still can't do it."   
  
"The Doctor always said the TARDIS was telepathic. This thing is alive. It is."   
  
"It's not listening now, is it?" Mickey said glumly.   
  
"We need to get inside it." Rose said. "Last time I saw you, with the Slitheen, this middle bit opened, and there was this light and the Doctor said it was the heart of the TARDIS. If we can open it, I can make contact, and tell it what to do."   
  
Mickey hadn't been there, not for that, and thus wasn't really sure what she meant. But she was the time-traveller, not him.   
  
"Rose," he said.   
  
"Mmm?"   
  
"If you go back," he said, "you're gonna die."   
  
"That's a risk I've gotta take," Rose said almost offhandedly, "because there's nothing left for me here."   
  
"Nothing?" Mickey asked hopelessly.   
  
"No."   
  
Mickey thought- about _everything_ \- and made his decision. "Okay. If that's what you think. Let's get this thing open."   
  
*  
  
Jackie's phone was beeping: Mickey was calling her. Well, the phone wasn't _beeping_ exactly- it was playing a Westlife song.   
  
She answered it. "Mickey? What's the matter?" _Apart from the obvious_ , she thought.   
  
"Jackie? I need a huge, huge favour. Could you drive my Mini down here?"   
  
*  
  
Shareen and Trisha sat on a bench, the London Eye turning in the distance behind them. Big Ben was also visible. It had long since been fixed- and the aliens had long since gone.   
  
"It's so weird," Trisha muttered.   
  
"What?" Shareen asked, although she could guess.   
  
"The world in general. Aliens came, _twice_ , and no-one cares anymore."   
  
"Some people do. Like the ones who visit Mickey's website, and stuff."   
  
"True. But still..."   
  
Trisha sighed.   
  
"I just can't get my head around it, that so much has changed since the start of the year." she said.   
  
"Mmm. I suppose not."   
  
Then Shareen had a thought.   
  
"Let's go visit Maggie. Mickey's friend. He introduced you to her, right? Let's go see her, and explain everything that's happened."   
  
*  
  
Rose attached a chain to the console panel. Mickey climbed into the Mini, and started it up.   
  
"Faster!" Rose shouted.   
  
He pushed down on the accelerator. _This is going to work, this is going to work, this is going to work...and then Rose is gonna go away_.   
  
"It's not moving!" Rose shouted.   
  
_This IS going to work- and I don't know what I'll do after that_.  
  
The chain broke.   
  
*  
  
Trisha was sure she'd done more running today than she ever had in her entire life. She'd be thin as a yardstick by the end of the day. Not that it really mattered, she had decided.  
  
They reached Maggie's house. Shareen rang the doorbell.   
  
Maggie's young son, Thomas, opened the door.   
  
"Oh. Hi." he said. "I think I know you. Mickey's friends, right?"   
  
"Right." Shareen said. "Is your mother in?"   
  
"She's in her study. I'll go get her."   
  
*  
  
 _She's never going to come home_ , Jackie thought to herself. _All my family has gone- I dunno what I ever did to deserve this_.   
  
"It was never gonna work, sweetheart," she said to her daughter. "And the Doctor knew that. He just wanted you to be safe."   
  
"I can't give up." Rose answered.   
  
"Lock the door. Walk away."   
  
"Dad wouldn't give up," Rose said, and Jackie's heart plummeted.   
  
"Well, he's not here, is he?" she said sadly. "And even if he was, he'd say the same."   
  
"No he wouldn't! He'd tell me to try anything. If I could save the Doctor's life... try anything." Rose said fiercely.   
  
"Well. We're never going to know," And the future she could see looked ever so bleak.   
  
"Well, I know." Rose said. "Because I met him. I met Dad."   
  
Jackie knew in an instant that this was true, but she refused to understand. "Don't be ridiculous."   
  
"The Doctor took me back in time, and I met Dad."   
  
"Don't...say... _that_."   
  
"Remember when Dad died?" Rose said, almost crying now. "There was someone with him. A girl, a blonde girl, she held his hand. You saw her from a distance, Mum, you saw her! Think about it, that was me, you saw me!"   
  
Jackie was befuddled for one brief second. Pete had died all on his own. No-one had been with him. Not her...not her, not anybody.   
  
_Did the Doctor KILL Rose's Dad in 1987?_   
  
But...no...surely she'd explained it all to Rose when she was little...some random girl who no-one knew had been with Pete...and Jackie remembered seeing her...   
  
...and feeling like she knew that girl, whoever she was?   
  
Feeling like that girl had to be...   
  
"Stop it!" she snapped.   
  
...her _daughter_?   
  
"That's how good the Doctor is," Rose said, crying.   
  
" _Stop it! Just stop it_!"   
  
And Jackie ran away.   
  
*  
  
Shareen, Trisha, Maggie and Thomas sat at Maggie's dining table. Shareen could see pictures of Maggie's late husband everywhere she looked- it depressed her slightly. Wedding photos, holiday photos...   
  
...if she'd remembered everything right, and she thought she had- wasn't it nearly the anniversary of Maggie's husband's death?   
  
Maggie, in true British fashion, had heard their story, nodded calmly and offered them all tea. Shareen had accepted gratefully, and so had Trisha.   
  
"Trisha, I ought to ask you," Maggie said, slightly nervously. "Has Mickey...well...he spoke to me once about what happened the night he met you. When Rose left."   
  
"What?" Trisha asked anxiously. "Oh...you don't mean..."   
  
"The fact he refused the Doctor, and Rose."   
  
"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, he told me. I know why he didn't rightaway," she added. She looked at Maggie, and Maggie looked back.   
  
"I knew," Maggie said.   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"I told him that perhaps he didn't leave the planet because he had things to do here instead."   
  
"Oh."   
  
Trisha's expression was unreadable, and Shareen looked hard at her. What on earth was she thinking now? That she would never have turned down the trip of a lifetime? That she would rather stay here and find something to do? That she wanted to have Mickey to herself for once?   
  
"Do you want some Christmas chocolates?" Maggie asked. She reached behind her and took them from a cupboard.   
  
"Christmas chocolates?" Shareen asked.   
  
"I know it's a bit early, but they were cheap. Actually, I have a feeling they're last years, left over."   
  
Shareen and Trisha both took one. Thomas took three.   
  
"I wish you two could've met my dad," he said with his mouth full. "I wish...you know..."   
  
"Thomas," Maggie said warningly.   
  
"Oh no," Shareen said hastily, "it's alright. I mean, if you..." But she trailed off.   
  
"There's no point in not talking about him," Thomas said glumly. When his mother didn't answer, he carried on, talking quickly. "He'd have loved all of this. He'd have known exactly what to do about Rose Tyler, and about the Siltheen."   
  
Maggie shook her head.   
  
"You don't even go in his shed anymore," Thomas went on.   
  
"Thomas..." Trisha said gently.   
  
"I'm not _angry_ ," Thomas said. "S'just...everything's changed, hasn't it? The whole universe."   
  
One of the chocolates still in his hand, he left the room.   
  
*  
  
Jackie had no idea what she was doing.   
  
_You_ do _know what you're doing, Jackie,_ said a voice in her head that sounded like her mother. _You're going to do something that will help your daughter- and take her into danger. How do you like that? She might never come back, and it'll be your fault._   
  
_It's her choice!_ Jackie thought savagely. _Just let me get on with it, before I change my mind._  
  
And as she raced through the city, she was convinced she would change her mind.   
  
_But if she stays here she'll never be happy. She'll be a ghost of a girl, going to work and going to bed and never doing anything worthwhile, because she never did the thing she counted MOST worthwhile._  
  
She turned the corner- Rodrigo's house was just up the road. She could see the truck from here. Oh, she hoped he was in.   
  
_Do you even know your daughter?_ Alison Darkwood asked her. _She could certainly do something worthwhile if she wanted. She could find a cure for cancer, end the corrupt, or fight injustice. You know she has the ability._  
  
Jackie stopped right there. She was gasping for breath- she always got tired running. Maybe she should turn around right now.   
  
Or...   
  
...maybe thousands of years would pass and Earth would grow up and then one day- far, _far_ in the future- the whole planet would be in irreparable ruins, all because she ran away when she could have gone forward.   
  
She waited for a few seconds, hoping for someone to help her. No-one came; she was on her own.   
  
_If YOU could have saved the man you loved_ , she suddenly thought desperately, _you would have done!_   
  
That was all she needed to make her decision-   
  
She went forward.   
  
*  
  
"Mum was right," Rose said, in a tone Mickey found impossible to read. "Maybe we should just lock the door and walk away." Mickey had the feeling she was testing him.   
  
As if she hadn't done that enough already.   
  
"I'm not having that," he said. "I'm not having you just...just give up now. No way. We just need something bigger than my car. Something bigger..."   
  
A large truck came around the corner. Mickey had never seen it before, and didn't pay it much attention- but hang on- that was _Jackie_ at the wheel.   
  
"Something like _that_!"   
  
Rose's face burst into a smile.   
  
Jackie stopped the truck and jumped out.   
  
"Right," she said. "You've only got this til six o' clock. Get on with it."   
  
"Mum," Rose said breathlessly, "where the hell did you get this from?"   
  
"Rodrigo," Jackie said. "He owes me a favour, never mind why. But you were right about your dad, sweetheart. He was full of mad ideas, and it's exactly what he would have done."   
  
Rose kept on smiling.   
  
"Now get on with it, before I change my mind."   
  
*  
  
Maggie opened the shed door. Thomas was in there, right at the back, just sitting down. He wasn't ripping things apart or trashing the place, for which Maggie was extremely grateful.   
  
"Thomas," she began.   
  
"Have those two girls gone?" Thomas asked.   
  
"No. I've asked them to stay for tea."   
  
"Oh."   
  
The shed fell as quiet as it had been the past year.   
  
"It wasn't fair, was it?" Thomas whispered.   
  
"No," Maggie said, knowing full well what he was talking about. "It wasn't."   
  
"It was just a _little_ alien invasion," Thomas went on. "Only a few people died. And you know Rose? Well, I know we've never met her, but...her and the Doctor...every time they remember what happened, here on Earth, with the plastic and all...they're going to remember it as a _good_ thing."   
  
Maggie felt tears in the back of her eyes.   
  
"Because they got something good out of it," Thomas said fiercely. "And we fucking didn't."   
  
"Thomas! Don't swear..." She was about to finish with "...in your father's shed." but she didn't.   
  
Thomas shook his head.   
  
"It's just _not fair_."   
  
Maggie put a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"Thomas, you'll...you'll hate this, I think. But..."   
  
Thomas looked at her.   
  
"But. Mickey knows-thanks to you, don't forget- what your father was all about, and he's passed that information on to many, many people. You heard what Trisha was saying back there, about the Bad Wolf graffiti?"   
  
Thomas nodded. "It sounds stupid."   
  
"But. If, as Trisha believes, it's a message...she'll have passed the message on to whoever needs to hear it, quite probably Rose Tyler, and Rose will do what she needs to and save the world. Or save someone who'll go on to save the world. And, Thomas- Trisha is involved because of Mickey, and Mickey is involved because of you, and you're involved because of your father. Understand?"   
  
Thomas just stared at the ground.   
  
"Do you understand, Thomas?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Your father played a part in the saving of the planet- don't forget that."   
  
Thomas's lip wobbled and he started crying. Maggie just held him. They just stood there, surrounded by images of Doctors past and present.   
  
*  
  
Mickey sat inside the truck, at the wheel, foot on the accelerator. There was another chain attached to the truck, which led inside to the console.   
  
This, he figured, might be their last chance.   
  
_His_ last chance. Whatever.   
  
"Keep going!" Rose shouted.   
  
He kept going; giving up now was not an option. Rose and Jackie shouted encouragement to him.   
  
"Come _on_!"   
  
He pressed his foot down harder.   
  
_This is so weird. I had my life ruined for a year, found Rose again, saved the planet -with help- turned down the offer of a lifetime and lost Rose again. Found someone else. Lost someone else.  
  
Could stop Rose losing someone.   
  
Possibly. _  
  
"KEEP GOING!" Rose yelled.   
  
_Mickey the idiot, the world is in your hands._  
  
The chain didn't break.   
  
The console lifted up- Mickey felt it- and the truck jerked forward. Mickey braked, and jumped out, and ran to Rose and Jackie-   
  
-but Rose had run into the TARDIS, and was gone.   
  
*  
  
Night was falling.   
  
Trisha and Shareen were both still at Maggie's house, having informed their parents where they were. They had had tea, and now were out in the garden.   
  
It wasn't as cold as it should have been for the time of year. Thomas was sitting in an old swing at the back of the garden, and Maggie on a bench, her laptop on her lap, doing her work.   
  
Trisha and Shareen were on the other bench, watching the stars come out.   
  
"Up there, somewhere," Trisha muttered, "give or take a few hundred years- something really, really big is going on. A battle, or a war, or something like that. Hard to comprehend, isn't it?"   
  
"D'ya think Rose is there?"   
  
"Yeah. I think she is."   
  
There was silence, apart from the whirring of the laptop and the creak of the swing.   
  
Trisha's phone rang.   
  
She picked it up- it was Mickey calling her.   
  
"Trisha? Hi...where are you?"   
  
"I'm at Maggie's house. Shareen's with me. Um...is Rose...where is she?"   
  
"She's left." Mickey answered. "Um...does Maggie mind if me and Jackie come?"   
  
"Maggie?" Trisha called nervously. "Mickey and Jackie want to meet me here. Um, is it okay...?"   
  
"Certainly." Maggie answered. "Ask if they want some tea."   
  
*  
  
All six of them sat in the Finch's garden: Mickey, Jackie, Trisha, Shareen, Maggie and Thomas. The world was quiet around them.   
  
Trisha gave her explanation of the day's events first.   
  
"It was the Bad Wolf that did it, you know? It was important. Um, did you see any Bad Wolf around the place, Mickey?"   
  
"Yeah," Mickey said warily, as if wondering where this was going. "Rose saw it. She said it was a message telling her she could get back. I dunno how she came to that-"   
  
"It was me and Shareen and Sam and Sam's friend Adam," Trisha said. Mickey stared in bafflement, and Shareen took over.   
  
"We did the graffiti. Well, some of it. Sam and Adam did a lot."   
  
"There was Bad Wolf in chalk across the ground, in the park," Mickey said slowly.   
  
"That would have been Adam, I think. He had the chalks." Trisha said.   
  
Silence.   
  
"And Rose?" Maggie asked.   
  
"Rose has left," Mickey said quietly. "She got the TARDIS open, and took it back to the Doctor. But she'll be back."   
  
Jackie, who hadn't said anything so far, gave a little whimper.   
  
"Oh, Jackie..." Trisha said. "It'll be alright."   
  
"I brought her the truck," Jackie said, "to get the thingy open. So she could go back. And if she dies there..."   
  
"She won't, Jackie," Shareen said firmly. "Because I know Rose."   
  
Jackie just shivered; it was getting colder now.   
  
There was a knock on the alleyway door.   
  
_It's Rose_ , every person at the table thought at the same time. Jackie jumped up and opened the door.   
  
It wasn't Rose- it was Rob.   
  
"Oi, Trisha," he said, barely even looking at Jackie. "Mum wants you back home now. She sent me to get you." He glanced around. "I can give your mates a lift, too, if you like."   
  
"Yeah, alright," Mickey said.   
  
They all looked at each other.   
  
"Thanks for everything, Maggie," Jackie said to her. She gave her a hug. "I'll see you around, alright, love?"   
  
"Alright," Maggie said, looking surprised. Clearly, she wasn't used to hugging.   
  
"And you," Mickey said to Thomas. "I'll see you later. I'll buy you a Christmas present, alright?"   
  
"You don't have to," Thomas said.   
  
"But I will."   
  
Shiareen and Trisha said their goodbyes as well, and before long they were all bundled into the back of Rob's car, heading home.   
  
*  
  
When Trisha got home, the house was quiet. Not all that warm and friendly, but quiet. And that was enough for her.   
  
Adam had gone home.   
  
Sam talked to her as they did the washing up. "You know what you said? About Dad never caring if you were upset? Rob didn't repeat that to Dad, but I did."   
  
"You did? Seriously? What did he say?"   
  
"Nothing. He just went really quiet and said he'd call later. On your real birthday."   
  
Trisha could only shake her head in disbelief. "Well, thanks, Sam." And then, "You were really good today."   
  
"Yeah," Sam said with a grin. "Turns out I can get away with vandalism, too. Heh."   
  
*  
  
Mickey went to the website, and stared at the last update, made just after the trip to Cardiff.   
  
_WORLD SAVED. WHO CARES?  
  
So, anyway. Saved the world last week, thanks.   
  
And how're you supposed to feel when you've done that? Pretty gutted, actually.   
  
I can't go on waiting for her to turn up. I can't go on waiting for Rose. I can't go on doing this. Sorry. _  
  
He went into the editor and hovered his finger over the DELETE key.   
  
But he didn't press it.   
  
Not yet.   
  
*  
  
Jackie went home and slept: it was all she could manage. She was exhausted. But she woke up at five in the morning, and hopelessly trotted into the living room and watched TV for an hour. She cried a lot, too.   
  
_Don't cry, Jacqueline. It'll be alright. Rose'll be back._  
  
Was that her mother, or was it Pete? Alison had been the one who'd said it, but it sounded like Pete's voice. Then again, Pete had almost never called her Jacqueline.   
  
She remembered one of the day's more minor episodes- the blonde girl holding Pete's hand, the girl who had been Rose- and burst into tears again.   
  
*  
  
The next day Mickey and Trisha met again in the first place they'd met: by the red dustbin. BAD WOLF was scrawled on it; surely Sam or Adam's handiwork.   
  
"So," Mickey said to her quietly. "We can't really go on like this, I guess."   
  
"Yeah, I know."   
  
They stood still while the world went on around them.   
  
"Thank you, Mickey," Trisha said all of a sudden.   
  
"For what?"   
  
"Everything," she answered, and before she had a chance to chicken out, she kissed him on the lips. Mickey was so surprised he actually took a step back.   
  
"Well, thank you as well," he said. "Seriously. You were good- you really were."   
  
"Thanks."   
  
"Maybe we'd better not thank each other anymore, though," Mickey said. "I mean...this is kinda it, isn't it? But I'll always think of you as my friend, alright?"   
  
"Yeah. Same here."   
  
They looked at each other.   
  
"Maybe in a different universe..." Trisha said thoughtfully. "You know."   
  
Mickey shook his head. "Nah. We have to make do with the one we've got."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
And that, indeed, was it.   
  
Mickey took one of Trisha's hands. "Well," he said. "Trisha- have a good life."   
  
And then he walked away.

*

_epilogue_

 

The future is most important:   
  
Trisha got into a fairly nice college, after a not inconsiderable amount of work, and then went to university. Her absent father was incredibly impressed and sent her many cards and presents, but she wasn't keen to talk to him. Her brothers eventually had to talk her into it. At university she met a nice young man who she married, but before the wedding she told him everything about what had taken place when she was eighteen. She kept nothing from him. He believed her- he had once visited the website, a long time ago. Since he was relatively rich, they were able to move to a nice house by a lake, where Trisha took up writing fantasy novels. Some of them were successful, others weren't, but she loved every minute of her writing. One day, after being interviewed for a magazine, she sat by the lake with her husband and thought _everything is perfect and there's nothing more I could want_.   
  
Shareen didn't go to university, or marry, but she did manage to fight her way into journalism, by force of personality if nothing else. She went all over the world reporting on wars, disasters, and various events, and raised money for charity on occasion as well. She remained in touch with Trisha, who assisted her in everything she did.  
  
Maggie Finch married again, and was happy with her new husband. Her son eventually grew to like him as well. Neither of them forgot about Mickey, and often wondered where he was. The website remained where it was, for anyone with a curious mind to access at will.   
  
Rob Delaney met a girl called Alex at the local pub- it turned out they were _made_ for each other. Jimmy Stone was out of the way- in prison, in fact- and Alex wasn't interested in him anymore anyway. Marriage was soon on the cards.   
  
As for Jackie and Mickey-   
  
-having your girlfriend dump you for an alien can indeed spectacularly mess you up, but in Mickey's case it was not the end of the world. Instead, a new beginning. And Jackie decided to carry on as normal, and have faith in her daughter, and bought her Christmas presents just in case Rose would be back for Christmas Day.   
  
She was.   
  
She'd brought back the Doctor, and danger- and Mickey got to make his choice again.   
  
And the Earth continued to turn. 


End file.
